Changing
by DarkRose97
Summary: Rose was born half dhampir half Strigoi. She used to rule the Strigoi world but now she chooses a life of good. On her travels she meets Lissa and her guardian Dimitri. She feels a certain connection to Lissa. And Dimitri? Well read to find out .
1. Prologue: Choosing This Life

**Hi, it's Kajsa.**

**It is probably going to start getting confusing, so if you are confused at any time, just tell me what you're confused about and I will try and explain it.**

**I wasn't sure about this story at first but I decided that I would give it a go and see what happens so give me your opinion :)**

**Disclaimer- I don't like disclaimers so this one goes for the whole story: I do not own Vampire Academy or any of its characters, they all belong to the wonderful Richelle Mead. I do however own this plot.**

**Changing-Preface**

I bit into my victim and started to drink deep. With each gulp of the sweet but tangy blood, I became stronger and felt regenerated. Eventually the body beneath me went limp and lifeless. I pushed the carcass off of me and got up. As usual, I felt the painful guilt that always seemed to find a way to fill me up when I took away a life. My mouth tasted of iron, which wasn't as pleasing as the fresh blood. I looked at my victim. His skin way five shades too pale and his eyes looked distant and un-focused. It seemed that his face looked more peaceful then it had before though. I remember looking into his eyes as I had drained him of blood and seeing the shock, horror, distress and pain in them. They had been the most beautiful shade of blue, but they had looked bloodshot at that moment. At that moment I had wished I was a Moroi or even Full _Stigoi_ if it meant that I could take away that pain. There wasn't supposed to be pain, but with me there always was. It seemed that pain was the only thing I could ever conflict onto people. It had to stop. I would make it stop. From now on there would be no more pain because I am already gone and too far away for anyone to stop me. I would change; I would never look in to those tortured eyes again, I would leave everything I knew behind and become the person I could only ever dream of being. This would be my revolution. I was unique, and now I was going to push the boundaries.

**OK, so that was the preface I will update and get in to the story very soon. I know that that was very short, but I hope you liked my start anyway and that you will give me a chance to get some chapters up.**

**Love Kajsa**


	2. Confrontation

**OK, chapter 1. Don't Forget to R&R they make me smile.**

**Tell me, what's your favourite song at the moment? Each chapter, I'm gonna post a random question. Anyone who feels like it, answer it. OR, ask **_**me**_** something. I like talking to people about random stuff. **

**Well… I could go on ranting forever but here's the chapter :)**

Rose's POV

I felt the ground beneath me, each distinct smell, filling my nostrils. I could hear the crunch of my feet against the fallen branches. I liked running. It made me feel free. When I ran I could think, and that wasn't something I got to do a lot. This time it was different though. I wasn't running for the joy of it, I was running to save my life. Or more precisely, running away from my life. My old one anyway.

I let the smells, sounds and sights of the forest fill my head. In the distance, I could hear laughing. It was time to test my self-control around humans. I ran faster, welcoming the thoughts of seeing people again, even if I couldn't let them see me. Eventually, their scent hit me, _shit_! They weren't humans. One was a Moroi and the other was a dhampir, this was not going to be a pretty confrontation. I was near enough now to hear what they were saying. It was about school and stuff, _I think_. I made well sure I was hidden before letting myself look at them. The Moroi was pretty, she had blond hair and green eyes and, like with all Moroi, she was tall. She was the one laughing and she looked fairly happy. I sometimes felt jealousy to Moroi; they could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. They were so free, it wasn't fair.

I felt strangely drawn to her and it felt as if I had met her before as she seemed vaguely familiar. Somewhat against my will, I twisted my gaze to her guardian. The person I would probably have to fight if I confronted them, _when_ I confronted them. I looked at him and felt my heart stutter. He was _beyond _gorgeous and had that badass look. He had chocolate brown eyes and shoulder length hair, tied back. He looked about six foot seven and had an amazing body (most dhampirs did, as did I being what I was, but his was just that much more tempting). _Oh, what the hell _I thought as I slowly gravitated towards them. I was in some sort of trance and hadn't noticed what I was doing until it was too late. The blond Moroi froze at the sight of me in front of her. Her guardian turned towards me and readied himself into an offensive stance. Fuck, they've seen me. I had kind of promised myself that I wouldn't fight (or kill), any one anymore. But now I guess it was kind of inevitable. Well that's just great!

Dimitri's POV

The princess had been animatedly talking about school and some funny incident that had happened while she was at school. She was joyously laughing to herself, obviously very happy about coming on this walk. She and some of her friends had gone on a camping trip which I had had to come on, guarding the princess. She had wanted to go on a walk. Since I was technically her guardian, I had come with her. Another guardian was somewhere far away. I wasn't officially Lissa's guardian until her graduation but it had already been set up. I cared deeply for Lissa and thought of her as my sister.

Out of nowhere she stopped speaking and froze. Her eyes seemed to roll back into themselves. I turned in the direction she was looking at and felt myself freeze. What the fuck? A Strigoi, how did I not see the threat before? Why wasn't the far guard running to help me? Instinctively, I crouched down into an offensive stance, ready to leap at a split seconds notice. She on the other hand, just stood there watching us, an irritated expression on her face. I stared just as thoroughly back at her giving her a challenge in my stare.

It was strange that she wasn't moving at all, it was very unlike Strigoi instincts to not go in for the kill straight away. What she looked like, was also irritatingly strange. She didn't look like the typical Strigoi. First of all, she was heart-stopping beautiful. Most Strigoi looked too terrifying to be considered beautiful however, she had this slight air of innocence to her, this slight unknowing. Also, her skin was a healthy tan colour as if she had been out in the Sun for a while. Also, her eyes were only thinly lined with red and every so often it seemed that they went completely brown, the natural colour of her eyes. Finally it seemed that she was a lot more graceful then most Strigoi, almost… dhampir like. If it had not been for her obvious sticking out, I could have mistaken her for a dhampir. It just didn't make any sense!

RPOV

I stood perfectly straight looking at him and he mirrored me perfectly. It seemed that he had obliviously stood out of his offensive position and was now staring back at me, almost studying me. A second later he blinked, and the perfect image was shattered. He charged uncontrollably at me with no real aim. I dogged it easily and now stood two steps to the right. He was now standing next to me and ready to fight.

He went for a punch to my nose and I blocked his fist. He then tried to kick my stomach which again I blocked. He continued to throw well aimed punches and kicks at me, which each time I blocked easily. I could tell he was an amazing guardian but at this moment he was acting on rage and confusion and was therefore failing to actually get me down. He had managed to get a couple of hits to me but nothing good enough.

DPOV

I was angry with her for making me feel so confused, I knew that I was just lashing out and acting unprofessional but something about her was really pissing me off. So I continued to punch and kick at her. I did get in a few good hits but nothing enough to get her down. The worst thing was that she wasn't fighting back. She was just standing there, gracefully avoiding my attacks. It was somewhat disturbing.

"STOP!" I suddenly heard from behind me, it was Princess Vasillisa. It only took that second for the girl, I mean Strigoi to get distracted and then I was on top of her, stake by her heart. For a brief second a look of shock filled her face however, a second later she looked somewhat at peace, almost as if she welcomed her death. I held the Stake up in the air, looking one last time at the girls beautiful face, still oddly at peace. I had a brief second of hesitation before I swung the stake down…

**Well, what did you think? If you want to find out what happens next then you are going to have to review my story. I'm warning you! (That wasn't a threat, it was said in a playful manner:))**

**Love, Kat**


	3. Hope

**OMG, I can't believe I've already gotten so many reviews, however PLEASE continue to review this story, it makes me smile to read them.**

**Random Question: What is your favourite season? (He, he, he, I know. Really random!!**

RPOV

I heard the girl shout. It was all it took to take me off guard in my fairly distracted state. One second I was looking at her, the next I was on the floor and had a heavy weight on top of me. Her guardian was on top of me and had a stake pointing down at my heart. At first I was filled with shock but a second later I just felt oddly at peace. This was it, the end. Finally I would be released from this cruel world. So, in what I thought were my last minutes, I looked into the beautiful chocolate brown eyes hovering above me, utterly peaceful.

I saw a brief flash of hesitation flash through his eyes before he swung his stake down. "STOP DIMITRI AND THAT IS AN ORDER!" That shout awoke me from my paralysed state and realisation filled me. I looked at my heart only to find a stake millimetres away from it. It had been the girl again. Why was she trying to stop this Dimitri from killing me? After all, to her I would like a Strigoi, her immortal enemy. An abomination, a plaque on all their houses, a species to be destroyed. So why was she protecting me? By doing so, she was putting herself in danger and that was very un-Moroi like. Then again, there was still that sense of familiarity about her; I just couldn't put my finger on it. Damn, that pisses me off! I hate knowing something and just not being able to _know _what it is, if you know what I mean **(AN**-**I know, too many **_**knows**_** in that sentence)**. I looked at Dimitri. He was trying to slow down his breathing while keeping the stake at killing distance.

"Princess? Would you explain to me why you are stopping me from making this kill?" he said it in a tone of perfect sarcasm. She studied him with obvious dubiousness, worry filling all of her features. Eventually she answered, "She isn't a Strigoi-or at least not completely one. I can read her aura," Dimitri looked like he was about to protest but she cut him off. "I've been practising with Adrian and... well i made some progress but anyway," hmm, I had met an Adrian in the summer, he completely changed my life, I wonder… "Hers is surprising clear, not that I know why. Her aura is filled with the black darkness that all Strigoi have however, her aura is then ringed with a golden light, as a dhampir may have. Then, surrounding her, there are shadows. Circling her, trying to engulf her. I don't know what they are, but they are not good!"

I've got it, she's a spirit user. This just strengthens my theory on who this Adrian person, she was talking about, is. I looked over at Dimitri. He looked somewhat un-believing and skeptical at the idea.

"Lissa, what exactly do you believe she is?"

"Erh, Lissa? As is Vasillisa, as in _you're_ the Dragomir princess, as in the last of her line?"

"Well…yes," she said tentatively. At this point Dimitri had gotten off of me. I was seriously disbelieving of my situation at that moment. It's not exactly every day that you just stumble on one of the most famous princesses in our world. If I wasn't still my evil self I would literally be jumping with joy right now. "And you're a spirit user aren't you?" Her face suddenly aged a hundred years. "W… w… what do y… you know about that? Oh, she was worried I was going to use her power against her. Being the former Strigoi queen, I had inside information and I knew about the crap Vasillisa Dragomir had been put through from a certain Victor Dashkov. When I had first heard about it, I had been impressed. In fact, I had even started a search for him. This Victor Dashkov would have made a very good Strigoi. He was intelligent and he obviously had an evil mind. However, now I thought of it, it made me feel sick that anyone could be so sadistic.

I looked at the girl. She seemed too young to have so many worry lines staining her features. I felt an odd softness to her and somewhat protective. It was as If I had known her my whole life, it was if she was my best friend, my sister. I wonder if she feels that way as well? Thinking about all this made me realise just how much I had changed. I had gone from a powerful Strigoi that everyone feared, to a selfless dhampir ready to protect everyone at any cost. Discovering this side to me gave me hope.

"Lissa," She flinched at the use of her name, "I'm not going to hurt you in any way, I'm just curious. I met a spirit user recently and their power amazed me. I just want to know about the extent of your power. Oh, and Dimitri," he also flinched at my use of his name. Come on, I'm not vermin. "Put down the stake. I'm not going to fight you… well not today anyway. And also, if you don't like me knowing your name, you really shouldn't be shouting it out loud for the whole world to hear, especially if your one of the most sought after princesses in the world," this whole comment was dripping with sarcasm, but I was just having too much fun to stop there. I was back. The ever confident Rose Hathaway. No one messes with me!

I gave Dimitri my man-eater smile and what I hoped was a friendly smile to Lissa. They both looked fairly confused and unsettled by me. They both looked flustered and slightly agitated. Knowing that I was in control pleased me. I always liked to be a step ahead and my moment of weakness had been completely out of character. But it was Okay. Because I was back, still more dhampir than Strigoi but completely evil (in a humorous way). I was a badass at heart and no one could ever truly take that away. Not even a gorgeous dhampir that is as badass as me. Well… maybe if I got a bit too distracted thinking of him, like now. No one had ever had that effect on me. He was compelling and I only ever found people compelling if there was something more to them. But what more was there with him? He was just a normal dhampir for God's sake. So why was I so attracted to him. Sure he was good-looking but that was literally the end of it…

"Now we have gotten all the small issues out the way, let's get down to business. I think we all have some explaining to do." My voice seemed to ring around the trees and I had a feeling that these two people were in no rush to have any such chat. That Lissa girl might have worked out that I wasn't a Strigoi as of such but she wasn't sure on exactly what I was. I'm quite sure her guardian was still on high alert and I really couldn't be bothered to deal with him right now. Sure he made my heart hyperventilate (if that's even possible) but that doesn't mean he was any fun right now. He had his boring guardian face on and he had obviously gotten over his moment of weakness, just as I had. It seemed we were similar in many more ways than one.

**OK, so I didn't really like this chapter but I thought it was vital to the story that Rose goes through this emotional change. I was going to put it in further in the story but I decided, hell with it and throw it in now!**

**Since I was asked, my favourite song at the moment is Don't Stop Believing by The Journey. I've only really started liking this song now don't ask me why. I also really like Tik Tok by Kesha at the moment.**

**Finally, I sort of quoted Romeo and Juliet in one of the lines in this story (I was bored and we've been studying Romeo and Juliet in English.) I did change the line slightly but anyone who can tell me what it is gets a plate of virtual cookies. Oh, and don't forget to press the green button before leaving this window. All your reviews are really supportive to me and help me to continue writing.**

**Luv y'all, Kajsa **


	4. What am I Doing?

**Hi people.**

**Once again, thanks for all the reviews, the positive comments really are enlightening and inspirational. It's all you guys out there that keep me writing. OK, so now I'm done with the sappy speech my favourite season is fall. I love the fact that it isn't too cold but it isn't too warm either. Most importantly, with the leaves changing colour and all, it's just so beautiful!**

**What's your star sign? (If you're wondering, I'm a Taurus:))**

RPOV

"So Lissa, take a guess at what you think I am exactly. It's much more fun if you are guessing before I actually tell you," I sounded somewhat smug and fairly self-satisfied. I could tell that my facial expressions echoed my voice. Dimitri looked bored but completely professional. Lissa looked like she was frowning but I think it was more that she was deep in thought.

Minutes went by, seeming like hours. No one moved, no one said anything. I was dying of boredom. If no one guessed _anything_ soon, I was going to be seriously pissed. Even though these people are intriguing, there is a limit to my patience and in two seconds that line was going to be crossed.

"Half Strigoi, half dhampir, well that is what your aura is telling me anyway. On the other hand, how is that even possible?" I looked at her emerald green eyes and smiled. She was very close to the truth. Although I wasn't just half Strigoi, half dhampir. There was more to me than just that. Slowly I turned to Dimitri. I was still afraid of what looking into his eyes would do to me, so I kept me gaze on his eyebrows.

"What about you Dimitri, any ideas?" I sounded playful, almost teasing. He didn't seem particularly impressed and his expression kind of shouted 'how old are you?' at me. No matter how warm and welcoming my smile was, it didn't seem to be enough to get anything more than a blank expression that literally showered me with warmth! (Ha! Yeah right!). His gaze seemed to pierce me and yet it was cold enough to freeze a lake! Wasn't he even going to let me tell him what I was, before he completely shunned me? "I'm waiting…" I said irritatingly to him, impatience getting the better of me.

"I think… I think you should leave now. It doesn't really matter what you are. If you're not going to hurt the princess and you don't plan on fighting anyone then nothing is giving you a reason to stay here," he said it in an extremely blasé manner. It sounded nonchalant and fairly polite but the order in the sentence could be heard. It was obvious he wanted me to leave and I couldn't help but feel a tinge of hurt at the comment. I knew that my face did not hide my pain at the comment and I felt traitor tears starting to form. I was going to have to answer back in true Rose style.

"I think… that it really is none of your business as to why I am staying here. You were the one to ask me what I was and let's face it; you don't really want me to go. I hold answers that would help you in so many ways. Curiosity will get the better of you, as it has of me. I'm _staying_ because I'm curious about the princess. If you get in my way, I will break your nose-and that's a promise!" The last part wasn't really true. I felt an uncanny reasoning to earn their trust and I was quite sure that breaking his nose would not accomplish any trust bonds.

I thought that he would be scared stiff at my rather violent threat. It might have been an idle threat but that doesn't mean I didn't make it sound threatening. However, when I looked at his face, it was just as blank and showed no trace of fear in it at all.

"What's your name?" It was Lissa "That's a start on telling us who you are, isn't it?" She sounded like she meant it; she actually was prepared to listen to my life story. Dimitri on the other hand…

"Rose. My name's Rose," now this was the bit where I considered telling them my last name or not. If I did, it was probably a death wish so I will just stick to Rose and end it there. "You're right. I am half dhampir, half Strigoi. My parents were both Strigoi when I was born," There was an audible gasp after I mentioned that part and that was less than I expected. After all, everyone knows that Strigoi's cannot have kids; I would have been shocked too. "My mother was shadow kissed and therefore she was able to have a child, not that they knew that at the time. When my mother was found pregnant they found out that if one of the parents is shadow kissed then they can have children and that that child will be half Strigoi and half- whatever the shadow kissed parent was before they were 'awakened'".

After that comment, I wasn't sure what more to say. What else could I tell them about myself? To be frank, why did I care so much about what they thought of me? Sure I wanted to change, but at the end of the day I was still more evil than anything else. It was in my blood and that could never change. For the shear safety of these two people, I would be better off leaving. I didn't belong in this world and in a way I never would.

DPOV

"You're right. I am half dhampir- half Strigoi. My parents were both Strigoi when I was born" I heard the princess take a sharp intake of breath at that comment and although I did not react, I was also somewhat shocked at that comment. "My mother was shadow kissed and therefore she was able to have a child, not that they knew that at the time. When my mother was found pregnant they found out that if one of the parents is shadow kissed then they can have children and that that child will be half Strigoi and half- whatever the shadow kissed parent was before they were 'awakened'". Well that explained some of it. Considering Lissa is a spirit user, this is closer to home then I would have expected.

After that, she just stared, almost longingly at us. Her beautiful eyes were filled with trouble and you could tell that at that moment, something was not completely right about her. After what seemed like hours of thoughts and hesitation, realisation seemed to flow through her and slowly, she turned to leave. Each step she took away from me seemed to be jammed with burden. I didn't know exactly what she was or understand what she was. However, I felt sorry for her and I almost understood how she felt.

"WAIT!" I heard myself shout before realisation could stop me. Just like that, my voice paralysed her and she gracefully halted. It seemed that my voice had a hypnotising effect on her. She hesitated turning around to face me however, as quickly as the spell had come, it was broken and she was again free to her own will. She briefly glanced behind her, her gaze catching my and staying locked there, before she twisted her body around again and sprinted off, too fast for my eyes to follow. "WAIT!" I heard myself shout again. But the words were caught in the breeze and remained lingering in the air, not even an echo to follow it. She was gone and somehow the realisation of that hurt me agonisingly. I hadn't even said hello! But most importantly, why did this bother me?

**OK, I hope you liked that chapter, review and tell me what you thought :)**

**Aww shoot, my laptops about to run out of power. NOOO! Please don't die on me… **


	5. All This Way For Me

**Yo! **

**As usual, thanks for also the wonderful feedback I have gotten but I hope that you will continue to R&R this story because they really are the best present you guys could give me.**

**What is your favourite movie of all time? (I love Titanic :))**

**And on with the story…**

DPOV

I stood paralysed as her presence faded further and further into the distance until the sky cleared and the soft breeze dissipated. The thunder halted and the very essence of time seemed to stop in itself. In the corner of my eye, I saw Alberta running towards us- finally. "Princess, Guardian Belikov: I was told to come and get you and tell you to come back to camp as the sun will be rising soon," she smiled at us while watching are wary faces. Eventually, she worked out that not all was right and that something had happened. "While I was gone, did something happen?" It was at that moment that Lissa turned to me unexpectedly and softly spoke:

"Go…" The sound was caught in the air but I heard the whisper and understood it immediately. I stared at her and our eyes seemed to have a conversation. She gave a slight nod in my direction which completed our silent conversation.

"Guardian Petrov, do you mind staying with the Princess and accompanying her back to camp. I have… _business_… to attend to. I saw Lissa choke back her giggle and realisation cross over Alberta's features as she worked out the double meaning of my words.

"Of course Guardian Belikov. I'll take care of Princess Vasilissa while you attend to your… _business,_" a smile was now playing on her lips and Lissa was laughing silently. I put on my best guardian mask and walked off into the distance.

RPOV

I ran as fast as I could, just trying to get as far away from them as possible. In a way I was envious of them. They could have such a simple, basic life. That was something I would never have the privilege of knowing. My life was always going to be utterly fucked up, with problems after problems. If I chose to continuously run away from my actual life, then I would probably be hunted down and forced to return to my place on the throne. Sure if I was found I would just pretend I had been travelling, but I would be forced to return to a life of pain. If I tried to fit in as a dhampir, then eventually someone would work out I wasn't actually a dhampir, because yes I can make myself look completely dhampir with brown eyes and no fangs but it wouldn't be permanent and eventually I would be found out. For me, it was a lose/ lose situation whichever way I went.

Eventually, when I was about twelve miles away from _them_, I stopped and sat down. I realised I was actually panting for breath and my muscles felt weak. Although Strigoi's couldn't get tired from running, dhampir could and I was half dhampir so therefore, if I was pushing myself really hard I actually could get tired. This made me wonder just how far I had actually travelled. I lied on a pillow of leaves and closed my eyes letting the world fade away. My breathing returned to normal a while later but I remained on the ground, enjoying the peace that laying here was giving me. As I sat, I heard faint footsteps coming towards me. Immediately I hid myself and prepared myself into a defensive crouch. There I waited for my visitor to show themselves.

It was minutes later that he appeared however his back was to me so I couldn't see his face. It didn't matter though; I recognised his clothes and his long hair. It was him, the last person I wanted to see at this minute. I sighed to myself and couldn't help rolling my eyes as well. Hesitantly, I stepped out of my hiding place and stretched out of my defensive crouch. I cleared my throat and awaited him to turn around and face me. I didn't have to wait long though as the second I made a noise he jumped and twisted himself round. He immediately got into a defensive crouch but a look of relief seemed to be smothering his features. I smiled my man-eater smile before mentioning, "You didn't come _all_ this way looking for me did you?" A smile seemed to play on his features and he looked somewhat happy.

"I am sincerely sorry I attacked you before. It was unprofessional and a thing of the moment. I should have waited for you to explain yourself, it's just… it is easy to mistake you for just a Strigoi, an evil one at that," I think my heart actually melted at his soft voice. He had a strange soothing effect on me and I really did feel at peace. "So… I think I should formerly introduce myself," he continued "My name is Dimitri Belikov and it is a pleasure to meet you," _no really, the pleasures all mine_ I thought. If only he knew.

"Believe me, the pleasures all mine. My full name is Rose…" I trailed off. I didn't think he would react too well if he knew who I actually was, "Hathaway," I sighed, however, my voice sounded fairly confident. I peeked tentatively as his expression went from confused, to shocked and ended on awe and wonder.

"So you're the mysterious, badass Strigoi queen!" he sounded fairly amused and he seemed quite laid back- considering. I could tell though, that he was slightly on the defensive. He sounded playful but I could tell that he was actually shit scared. It was in his eyes.

"Former, mysterious, badass Strigoi queen!"

"Former?"

"Yeah, I have sort of retired…" More like run away because I am tired of so much responsibility and my lifestyle makes me feel sick.

"What happened?" He sounded completely interested. I was almost tempted to tell him but I didn't want to lose his respect.

"So… why did you come after me? Oh and, is that a slight hint of a Russian accent I hear?" it seemed that my question caught him off guard so much so that he didn't notice how I sidestepped his question. He looked at me with a look that seemed to search my soul. I had a feeling that this question really hit home.

"Truth be told Rose, I was curious. It isn't not every day that you meet a half dhampir, half Strigoi hybrid and yes I am Russian," He made it sound as convincing as possible but I could still somehow tell that he was hiding something, that this wasn't the real reason.

So I just stared at him and he stared back at me, our eyes locked in each other's. The heavy silence that filled the air was comfortable not awkward. We both had shadows that we weren't ready to unleash on each other, but it was ok because something told me that in time we would be ready to confide in each other, just… not yet.

I smiled at him a kind, friendly smile and he returned it with a warm smile of his own. Suddenly, his smiled turned expectant as if he was about to ask a question he wasn't sure how I was going to react to. "We still have a lot to talk about and I was wondering if you wanted to go back to camp with me. I'm sure Lissa would love to get to know you better as well," he smiled sheepishly and awaited my reply. Well I had to say, I was honoured unfortunately I had a feeling that not everyone would be as welcoming as Dimitri. I did after all still look like a Strigoi, even with my healthy, tanned skin. Also, I didn't think I had enough energy in me to hide myself as a dhampir, well at least not without any actual dhampir contact… There was a dhampir standing in front of me.

"Dimitri I would love to go back to camp with you, it's just…" this was the difficult part "Well, normally I can disguise myself as a dhampir temporarily. However, in my tired state I don't have enough energy to do the change. I don't think everyone else will be as welcoming as you and…" I trailed off as he interrupted me.

"Just get to the point already," he sighed and I sighed mentally also. I was acting out of character again and I had a feeling it had something to do with the Russian God standing in front of me.

"I will be able to cast the illusion if I have physical contact with a dhampir," he seemed slightly flustered by my statement but it quickly turned into a smug expression.

"Go on then!" he sounded so confident that I found myself walking towards him. Eventually, there were only centimetres between us. Hesitantly, I reached up and rested my hand on his shoulder. It was fairly difficult considering his height however; I closed my eyes and concentrated on the dhampir energy that he gave off. I felt strange but warm feelings overcome me, before fading away. I felt somewhat lighter and less burdened.

I opened my eyes to find Dimitri searching them. In that second we shared a strange connection that didn't really make sense to both of us.

"You know, your eyes are really beautiful, minus the red!" In that second, I literally started melting in the inside. God! How was a guy having this effect on me.

**Love it/ Hate it. Only your opinion can affect me in any way. So press the green button and review.**

**Don't think you can fool me, I know you are looking at it. PRESS IT! PRESS IT! pREss iT!!! **


	6. Camp

**Thanx for all the reviews guys, I almost got to 50! Keep reviewing though because reviews keep me motivated!**

**What phone have you got? (I've got an IPhone!)**

**Sorry I didn't update sooner but (as crap an excuse as it is) I was busy. I was going to update on Wednesday and I had wrote half of the chapter but my mum decided that updating my stories was not a priority and banned me from the computer. Thursday I had some school stuff and on Friday I went to a Lady Gaga concert which I had to leave from as soon as I finished school so, although I normally update on Friday if I haven't updated yet in that week, I didn't get a chance!**

RPOV

We ran back to camp at an incredible short speed. Well for me anyway! However, it was somewhat relaxing after my previous killer run. I was slightly worried as to how it would be at camp. There was so much that could go wrong: people could work out who I was, _what_ I was. The illusion could fail, leaving me with the obvious red eyes or my bloodlust could control me and I could attack someone. That would be worse case- scenario.

As I paced myself to Dimitri's speed, he constantly ensured me that everything would be okay. He also said that if anything did go wrong, I could just run away before anyone even had time to blink. Basically, in his opinion I am overreacting and thinking everything through too much. Was it my fault that I was worried about people working out what I was, or at least what I looked like and freaking out? I don't think he realised just how much danger I was in. Or else he didn't really care… I hopped it wasn't the latter. "Rose? We'll be there just as soon as we get to that clearing," he sounded so calm. Had he yet not figured out how risky this whole business was?

Suddenly, Dimitri came to a stop and I obliged. "Better to just walk this last bit…" he trailed off as we noticed we had company

"Who are you?" this person looked like they had a lot of authority and her voice was thick with suspician so I was going to have to come up with a good excuse, and soon! "Well?"

"Erh, I'm Guardian R. Hathaway," I said in a fairly confident tone, pausing to allow that piece of information to sink in. I only hoped that saying R. Hathaway protected my identity." I've come here on orders of the queen. Apparently, the fact that there were royals on this trip meant that she wanted more guardians protecting them, her own guardians at that. 'Better trained guardians' were her exact words," I spoke the last bit with a smug look on my face

"But she only sent you?" and so continued the questioning…

"I'm one of her best,"

"Right! And… how old are you?" if she only knew. "You don't look much older than eighteen at most," she said accusingly. "I don't see how you could be 'one of her best' when you have so little experience," I was speechless. How was I supposed to answer that?

"I am eighteen, although I have already killed loads of Strigoi, some before I graduated. I turned around revealing my neck with was covered in molnija marks and battle marks. The truth was that Strigoi also got molnija marks for their kills however, it was for any kill made at all (not including animals) and the marks were optional. No one outside of the Strigoi race knew about them though as we kept them extremely secret.

The marks seemed to be enough to convince her as she turned around indicating for us to follow. An air of distrust still surrounded her but it seemed that my excuse was enough for her at the moment. She took us to a big clearing where it seemed their whole party was located. I looked around the room and my eyes immediately landed on Lissa. Her green eyes were sparkling and she had the most welcoming smile ever.

"Everybody, this is Guardian Hathaway. She was sent by the queen. Apparently, the fact that there are Royals on this trip means that we need better protection!" I kept my face blank and unreadable. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Dimitri was staring at me. I wondered what he thought about my excuse.

I decided to study everyone in the room. There was dhampir and three Moroi's including Lissa. I studied each one of them carefully until my eyes landed on someone familiar. When our eyes locked, I noticed just how much shock was contained in his. I had had a feeling that he would be here but his appearance was still an unexpected surprise.

Every one of his features were still clearly marked into my brain but seeing them in reality made my imagination pretty crap. He had emerald green eyes that beat a cat's by a mile. They were even prettier than Lissa's. He was fairly tall. Not Dimitri tall but not far off. Over all, he was gorgeous although again, no comparison to Dimitri. Adrian was sweet, but I knew of his reputation and I didn't think a Moroi could ever have a relationship with a Half Strigoi. I had thought that when I first met him and I still thought that now. Besides, I knew he only wanted me for my body. The real reasons I cared for Adrian was that he had given me a different view of life. He was the one who had showed me that I wasn't a monster and that I was capable of being good.

I saw Lissa walking towards me and tore my eyes away from Adrian. This was when I realised that Dimitri was again staring at me with a strange look on his face. I ignored him and turned to Lissa who was smiling at me. "Hi, I'm Lissa!" She was so cheerful she seemed to light up the whole room. "This is Guardian Belikov, I take it you've met?" she didn't wait for my answer, already knowing what I was going to say and turned to a guy who had his arm around her. "This is Christian Ozera, my boyfriend," I didn't need to hear his name twice to know who this was. Everyone knew the tale of how his parents had gone Strigoi on him, leaving him with only his aunt left as family and having to face a crowd of bystanders who would forever reject him from the royal society.

I knew the Strigoi Ozeras personally, Lily Ozera being a close friend of mine. I knew that they forever regretted their decision and missed their son greatly. The whole thing was just so sad… Lissa then continued to introduce me to everyone there. "This is Eddie," she pointed to the dhampir. "And this is Adrian!" Adrian got up at that introduction and came over to me.

"It's an honour to meet you, Guardian Hathaway!" He smiled kindly and took my hand which he then resulted in kissing, still the charmer I see. However, he reeked of alcohol and clove cigarettes with made me feel highly nauseated. I knew that he needed the drugs to help him deal with the side-effects of Spirit (him being a spirit user too) however, I couldn't help wishing he would stop. It was a risk to his health. Not that the darkness you got from using Spirit was much better.

After the introductions I did my cover job of guarding the Moroi's. Alberta, the other guardian, had been off doing who knows what, so I talked to Dimitri. We spoke about random things just to pass the time and nothing was very serious but it was comfortable and we could get a chance to know each other. We had decided that we would train together in the mornings. I was so looking forward to that! I also talked a bit more about what I knew about myself. I talked about what it had been like ruling the Strigoi population and about all the major battles I had been in. I talked about my family and how I wasn't very close to them. Basically, we talked about anything that would start a conversation. It was the same with him; he talked about his family and his job. It might seem strange but I thought that the stuff we talked about really brought us closer. He was the sexiest man I had ever seen and although I didn't want to believe it, I was starting to feel more than just friendship and attraction towards him.

**So, tell me what you think. Also, give me your opinion on this: is this story going too slowly because I can hurry it up if you want? I'm only going this slow because I need to lay the foundations of this story.**

**Well, yeah just review. I almost made it to 50 reviews with the last chapter but was 2 off. If I could get at least 10 reviews for this chapter, I will be really happy and possibly update sooner than expected. It's up to you! Lol :)**

**~Kat **


	7. Let's go Hiking!

**Hey!**

**Thanks for the reviews guys, you're the best! I managed to get exactly ten reviews for that chapter which made me really happy :)**

**I know that I said that I would update quickly if I got ten reviews however some unexpected stuff came up and I just wasn't in any state of mind able to write anything. **

**What colour are the walls of your bed room?**

RPOV

Only a few people knew of my real identity. Lissa, Dimitri, Adrian and, because Lissa had felt bad about keeping it from her own boyfriend, so did Christian. In the end we had told Eddie as well. Everyone else already knew so it was pointless hiding it from him. Everyone else trusted him so I trusted him. Obviously Alberta still didn't know. I didn't think she would react as well as everyone else had. Most the time I was on guard duty so I didn't have much time to talk to people. Also, I had tried incredibly hard to attempt to get a moment free with Adrian so that I could talk to him properly however; it was practically an impossible task as there was always someone else there. On the other hand, I had spent loads of time with Dimitri on guard duty and out. I loved being here with these people. I could really be myself and no one seemingly cared about who I was. The sense of belonging was slowly spreading like wildfire and I was almost feeling happiness for the first time in a long time.

Today we were going on a hiking trip around the nearby forests and mountains. I had always liked hiking and i couldn't wait to go. Also, it meant I would get to spend some more time guarding with Dimitri which was always fun even if Dimitri was no longer fun. He was constantly in guardian mode and he never seemed to treat me like the person I was anymore. I understood that he had to stay professional and that he didn't want Alberta discovering what I was but it was like the side I had seen of him first had completely disappeared. Now every second I saw him his face was that of a rock. Of course every so often I would catch him out on an off moment and the caring look I had once known would uncover itself from the dark guardian mask that he wore.

We left at about ten o'clock after the Moroi had finished their breakfast and while we had finished off packing everything we would need. Alberta had taken position of front guard while me and Dimitri took behind. Our assigned were in the middle.

We started off at a somewhat slow speed. I longed to run ahead and stretch my legs however Moroi were not accustomed to such speeds as Dhampir could run. They were still fast however. After all, if a Strigoi came after you and your Guardian was dead. The last thing a Moroi could do was run away from it. Not that they would ever stand a chance against the speed of a Strigoi.

One good thing about going slow was that I had plenty of time to talk casually with Dimitri. He wouldn't ever get rid of his guardian mask but it was better than nothing. I did understand his need to stay in work mode and act completely professional, even if I wasn't even technically working. The point was that I was always talking casually with Dimitri and I couldn't help wanting more than just casual talk. At the end of this trip (which was drawing near) I would have to leave forever and probably never see him again. I didn't want to waste the time I had, with him or my new found friends for that matter, before then.

At lunch time we stopped for lunch. By this time we had made quite a lot of progress and had been trekking through the forest for hours.

We sat on the ground and Lissa handed us all some sandwiches from a cooler. I bit into it awkwardly. Although I could eat normal food, it was like eating Brussels sprouts to a kid: edible and yet not particularly nice. I had gotten more use to eating normal food since I had stopped drinking blood however I knew that eventually I was going to have to have some blood as although I could live for very long periods of time without it, eventually I would die. I knew that my best option was to drink like a Moroi would I just had a feeling that that wouldn't be particularly easy considering what I look like

"So tell me Guardian Hathaway, what school did you study at?" I could hear the honest curiosity in her tone however there was also an inch of distrust contained within. I was only so glad at that moment that I had every so often sent people to go and study what was happening at the academies. It was that decision that allowed me to have a story to tell now.

"Well I went to school at the academy in Florida, St. Raphaella. I graduated just over a year ago where I moved to court and started guarding the queen. My molnija marks grew and so did my reputation. Very soon I was one of the queen's best," Alberta studied me carefully and so did Dimitri. Something I said had shocked them I just didn't know what.

"I think we still have a lot to learn about each other Miss Hathaway," her tone suggested there was something else she wanted to say although I was quite sure I wasn't going to find out what that was today.

DPOV

We had been hiking all day and it was obvious that everyone was tired. We were going to have to stop and set up our temporary camp soon. Next to me, Rose was silently trudging along the longing to go for a run still clear in her warm brown eyes. Without the red they were very welcoming and friendly. Rose turned her beautiful face toward me and smiled her classic breath- taking smile. At that second a shocking crack was heard in the distance. Everyone instinctively turned their heads towards the sound but rose seemed to strain herself towards the sound.

"Rose, is something wrong?" it was nothing more than a soft whisper against her ear but she heard it. One word left her mouth,

"Strigoi…" the word was hardly out of her mouth before we heard the marching of the coming crowd of them. The weather seemed to darken and the wind seemed to become more violent.

"Rose can you see them from here or define how many there are exactly,"

"From the irregular sound of their feet, I would say there are six of them. They are about a hundred meters away and they will reach us in twenty seconds approximately," this wasn't good. They were very near and there were too many of them. I didn't know what to do! Luckily, Rose took control of the situation. "Alberta, take the students and run as far away as you can. Don't stop at any point, not for anything. Me and Dimitri will stay here and try and hold them off as long as we can. Obviously it won't be easy as they have already smelled the Moroi blood in the air, but we have to try. Go. Now!" she sounded confident and assured that nothing was going to go wrong. I on the other hand was not as certain.

"They're here," it was a pointless warning considering how clearly I could see them now.

"There are only four of them; I thought you said there were six?"

"Either I was wrong or the other two have gone after the rest of them," I had a strong feeling it was the latter.

"Let's just hope that Alberta can handle protecting them,"

"Let's," and with that she took off, a whirlwind of power attacking so fast that if you blinked you stood a chance of missing something. I took that as my signal to attack and charged into the fight just behind her. Rose had already taken down one of the Strigoi and a second was soon to join the pile. I dogged a shot from my attacker and tried to get in a good punch to the abdomen. He anticipated the move and stopped me. To surprise him, I then used my other hand to punch his jaw with all the power I had. He went soaring through the air and I was on top of him as soon as he landed. In one swift motion I staked him and joined Rose on the battlefield of killing our last attacker. She had killed the second Strigoi in somewhat of a gruesome manner ripping off both his arms before then ripping off his head. She had then staked him just to make sure he was completely dead.

I did a surprise attack on him from the back while she continued to attack from the front. He seemed confused at what exactly was happening and with one quick sweep of the legs he was down. Before he had a chance to get back up again, Rose was on him. She held the stake a millimetre away from his heart. She seemed to be pressing all her weight onto him to keep him down. Escape seemed to be very unlikely for him.

"Who sent you or did you just happen to stumble across us?" Rose sounded dangerous, deadly. In that moment, her true evil self was shown and I realised just how dangerous a person she was. While I had known her she had always seemed somewhat innocent if that was possible. However, in that second I realised that at any moment she could change into the other half of her and I had no doubt that that half would kill anything that got in her way.

"I I I…" he stumbled "It was purely coincidental," he managed to force out eventually.

"I don't believe you," she said it accusingly that deadly edge still high up. "If you lie to me, I will only make this harder for you!" with that comment, she slowly pushed the stake down cutting through the first few layers of flesh. Blood dripped. The Strigoi screamed out in pain.

"Okay, I'll tell you the truth. I'll tell you everything just please don't hurt me!" he was literally begging now and perspiration was dripping down his face.

"Who sent you?" Rose was sounding more patient now but the Strigoi was wetting himself

"A man called Quinn. He says you know he is. A look of recognition filled Rose's face and… something else- fear!

"What's your name?" She was speaking in a monotone now and the coldness in her voice could literally a human.

"Antonio," well that wasn't a very evil name.

"One last question before I leave. Have your 'friends' gone after my 'friends'?" that look of pure fear was back on his face and I didn't blame him. I was feeling scared from where I was standing.

"Yes…" he breathed. Rose studied him carefully, contemplating his fate.

"I'm sorry Antonio. You have been very helpful to me but I'm going to have to kill you," realisation of what she had just admitted hit him and his face was that of the living dead, no pun intended!

"No! You can't. Please don't. Please!" his begging was that of a desperate man but pointless nonetheless. Rose saw him no better than any other Strigoi, and neither did I.

"You know, for a Strigoi your utterly pathetic," her look was now one of distaste. "You can at least go down with some dignity!" With that last comment she stabbed the stake all the way through his body. It sliced down as easily as butter. For a second, her gaze was un- concentrated and distant but the next she was back and her gaze was freezing. "Call an Alchemist, we need to get the hell out of here and go find the others" I did as I was told and with that we left.

We ran as fast as we could after them. I knew that Rose wasn't going as fast as she could so that I could keep up with her and I was grateful. I was quickly getting tired. I had just fought two Strigoi and now I had to sprint for a long distance. I was eventually going to collapse from exhaustion. After all, it wasn't like I was Superman or something; I did need to stop at some point. "I smell them, they are near," she was still speaking extremely coldly and I had a feeling that not everything was right.

"Roza? Are you okay?" she lifted her eyebrows slightly at how I had used the Russian form of her name.

"Is that Russian, Roza?"

"Yes,"

"I like it, thanks!" she seemed immediately happier and I realised that not much had been needed to make her happy again. The question was, was that because she hadn't been that upset or was it because _i_ had given her something?

"I'm finding the killings harder to deal with than I thought. That last Strigoi. I killed him… for the very fact that he was a Strigoi. He might not have deserved to die,"

"Roza, all Strigoi are evil, no matter whom they are. It is a guardian's job to rid the world of Strigoi's no matter what, and that is exactly what you did," a smile almost played on her lips and I had a feeling that I had done my job of cheering her up.

"The problem is… that I'm not actually a Guardian,"

"Well maybe you should be!" at that second all conversation stopped because a piercing scream filled the air, Lissa's. She was in trouble. Rose jump into action and acting on instinct, ran in the direction of the scream.

We came into a clearing and found everyone else. Lissa was in the hands of a Strigoi and doing all that she could to get free… but it wasn't enough. Alberta was fighting that Strigoi however it was difficult whilst trying to prevent Lissa from danger. The other Strigoi was being attacked by Eddie and he was holding out pretty well against him.

When the Strigoi's saw us they ran away, Lissa still in arms. She screamed one last worthless scream before she was too far gone for anyone to see her.

"Well fuck!"

**Once again, I'm sorry I didn't update sooner. I'm hoping that the much longer chapter can make up for it.**

**Don't forget to review, I want at least another ten reviews before I update. It doesn't have to be long just tell me what you think and anything else you want to put! :)**

**Aurevoir (goodbye in French)**

**Kajsa :) **


	8. Shaking With Anger

**Hey,**

**Sorry I couldn't update sooner. As usual, when I wanted to start writing, I had to deal with some annoying crap…**

**OMG people! I was reading through the chapters I have written for this story. I had no idea that my grammar and spelling had been so bad. I never can be bothered to check through what I write so I didn't know just how many mistakes I had made. For that, let me formerly apologise.**

**I was reading the end of Shadow Kiss again today, so sad :(**

**I'm gonna give up on my chapterly questions, no one answers them.**

RPOV

Running through me, I felt worry, fear and anger. All those emotions _were_ my own but it didn't feel like they were my emotions. I had never felt anything like it. It was like I was feeling the emotions of someone else, but feeling them as my own. I was so worried for Lissa and I really hoped that she would be okay and that she could keep herself calm. She had her spirit magic to protect herself and I hoped it was enough. I felt myself rapidly drowning in these emotions of fear and worry. I felt the emotions slowly engulf me. My whole head was filled with anger and a weird darkness. All I wanted to do was to go after Lissa and kill the bastards who had dared take her away from me and put her life in even a small amount of danger.

Instinctively, I let my predator side take over and before I knew it, I was sprinting in the direction of the Strigoi's scent. "Rose!" I heard a familiar voice behind me. It didn't matter though; I was too ahead of everyone for it to be anything but a faint, muffled shout. "Rose!" I heard from behind me again. I ignored the constant shouts that were filling the air and continued on my destined path. A small part, buried deep inside me, told me that my currant behaviour was crazy and savage. I was acting like an animal and that I had to stop myself. However, I ignored this part of me and kept it buried. I needed to do this!

APOV (Adrian)

It all happened very quickly. We had been trekking through the dense forest, following Alberta, and next thing we knew there were Strigoi surrounding us. In total there were four Strigoi. We had only expected there to be two! Alberta acted instantly and was a deadly blur flying past us. It seemed that I had always underestimated Alberta. I never realised just how deadly she could be.

I attempted to keep up with what was happening but it was going so quickly that even my Moroi senses were struggling to keep up with what was happening.

I had continued to watch Alberta battling a Strigoi before she eventually managed to stake it. She then moved onto the next one and Eddie joined in the fight, attempting to fight off the third Strigoi. I had to say, he was pretty good. His technique was definitely lacking compared to Alberta but he wasn't doing badly himself.

I had been so busy watching the two fights playing away in front of me that I forgot about the last Strigoi and hadn't noticed him creep behind Lissa. Apparently, neither had Christian. The Strigoi grabbed her from behind and for a second she was too shocked to do anything, but as soon as she realised what had happened she was kicking and screaming for him to let go. Christian attempted to attack the Strigoi with fire but was obviously trying not to burn Lissa at the same time as he misses the direct shot and did little more than annoy the Strigoi.

At this point Dimitri and Rose charged in. As soon as the Strigoi saw them they all ran off with Lissa in arms. She continued to scream and shout but eventually she faded into the distance.

The minutes went by and there was a continuous silence. I studied everyone's aura, finishing on Rose's. Most Strigoi didn't have auras at all as they were too filled with darkness to have a field of _light_ surrounding them. Only newly turned Strigoi that hadn't chosen to 'awaken' themselves had auras. These were the remaining droplets of goodness left in them. Nevertheless, eventually they faded when too much darkness corrupted them. A Strigoi's aura was weird. They were ringed in darkness that seemed mystifying and endless. I'd thought Strigoi auras had been weird but I hadn't seen anything until I saw Rose's aura, a mix of darkness and light, the constant battle she fought inside her daily.

When I looked at her aura now, it was even weirder. At first it was her normal spectrum of colours but suddenly out of nowhere it seemed as if this darkness, different to the darkness found in Strigoi's, seeped into her. It made no sense!

After the darkness had filled her she started to shake violently. Waves of anger were undulating off of her and it felt as if a thunder storm was about to start at any given moment. And then it stopped, or more, she stopped. She just stood there, panting for breath. Another minute went by before anything happened. It seemed that Rose came to a resolution inside herself.

She started running. She kept it at a speed that didn't look suspicious but was nevertheless very fast. "Rose!" Dimitri called, but it didn't stop her. If anything, it made her run faster. "Rose!" Dimitri bellowed again. Then Alberta joined in and before we knew it, everyone was calling for her to come back. "Alberta, stay with them. I'll go after Rose," Next thing we knew, Dimitri was sprinting in Rose's direction.

I longed to help. Just… just to be more use than I was here. After all, I had met Rose once before. I had changed her way of life, her way of thinking. I couldn't help think that I could make her see sense in this current situation. She couldn't just go charging after Lissa, into a den of Strigoi with no plan at all. She was a dhampir for heaven's sake. Strong? Yes. But not that strong. And then I remembered, there were no rules for her. She wasn't a dhampir, or- not just that. If anyone could charge into a den of Strigoi with no plan at all, it was her. She was in principle, 'one of them'.

DPOV

When we heard Lissa's screaming we both acted instantaneously. It didn't matter that we hadn't finished our conversation, all that mattered was Lissa. I hadn't realised that Rose cared so much for Lissa and it was somewhat shocking if not inspiring to see such dedication to a person. That was why I had suggested she become a guardian. She would make a really good one. However, the connection she and Lissa shared was almost unnatural. I had never seen so much dedication given to a person she had practically only just met and she didn't know very well.

We raced into the clearing that everyone else was in to find ourselves surrounded by three Strigoi. The fourth one had Lissa, kicking and screaming in his arms. As soon as they saw us they ran off. As fast as lightning and as sharp as a knife. That's how they had once been described to me. In that second, I had to say that I agreed with that description to the tee.

For a few minutes nothing at all happened. Then out of nowhere, rose that shaking vigorously. It was something I had never seen and hoped to never see again. I felt the need to grab her and wrap her in my arms, protectively. I knew I couldn't do that though, and that's what hurt the most. I longed for her to stop and go back to normal again. I felt so helpless, so useless. Suddenly, just like that my wish was granted. She stopped shaking and instead kept unnaturally still. But in the blink of an eye, that changed again. Then she was running- and I was shouting- and she was running still. I couldn't think, I couldn't move, all I felt was my heart tearing away from me!

The words I said next were not said through my own body and the movement that followed Rose's was also not my own. All I wanted was to be back with her. That's all my body longed for also. "Rose, Rose, Rose!" I continued to call, but it was no use. Rose was already too far ahead of me and I felt no hope in the trek I led.

Ahead of me the forest was clearing. I was losing all sense of direction and I had no idea where Rose was. _Rose, I beg you to be there when I clear this forest!_ By this point I was panting for breath, therefore I knew that whether Rose was there or not I was going to need to stop when I cleared the last tree. "ROSE!" I shouted out one last measly time.

I passed the last tree and breathed in the rays of sunlight. When my eyes adjusted to the very bright light I looked around me. There she was… my angel… my saviour. She looked at me and it felt as if the rest of the world faded.

"You found me? I shouldn't have run off, it was reckless. I lost control for a split second and did the first thing that came to mind. I shouldn't have but I did," She looked so guilty and that just made my heart grow even more. "It's okay. I'm back in control of myself now, but I need your help. I can't go after Lissa by myself! I need you to come with me," I was shocked. I hadn't been sure what state I would find her in and I had definitely not been expecting to actually be asked for help.

"Of course I'll go after her with you. After graduation I am going to be her guardian. It's my job to protect her!"

"Great! Let's go," she stood up immediately.

"Whoa, wait Rose!" I grabbed her wrist to stop her. That one touch was all it took for fireworks to be going off. My hand was literally burnt at the place our hands had connected. Looking at her face now, I knew she felt the same way. So I let go- quickly! "We can't just go charging into that place. We need to work out a strategy if this trip is to be successful. If not we will just be putting Lissa at a bigger risk. That is the last thing we want to do," she seemed to calculate that in her head for a minute, "Okay, where do we start?"

**Well I did consider going into the big rescue scene but instead I decided that I would make you wait and instead I would let you see the same thing happening in different point of views**

**I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review.**

**Fifteen reviews needed for an update!**


	9. Washing Over Me

**Hey, thanks for all the reviews, I didn't quite get fifteen reviews but I decided that thirteen reviews were close enough. Don't forget to review this chapter as your comments keep me writing.**

**Now it's the Easter holidays I will be able to update my stories much more frequently however don't expect updates everyday as I have a really big English project to do. I have to have constant rehearsing for my grade 5 musical theatre exam that I'm doing straight after the Easter holidays. I have a birthday party and holiday to plan. I have really important tests just after Easter which I have to revise for. Oh and I have a school business enterprise project to think about which by the way, if you have any ideas on good things to sell that are easy to make please share. Then I have more homework and a violin exam to practise for. Basically, my Easter holiday is going to be very busy and saying I have loads of time to update my stories is a lie. I will have more time than normal in a literal sense but it isn't necessarily going to be spent writing chapters of stories.**

RPOV

I felt unbelievably worried… and that scared me. I had never cared for anyone besides myself at any point in my long and tiring life. What frightened me even more was that I was prepared to lay down my life to save her, a girl- no a Moroi- that I had only just met. And yet there was that constant feeling that I had known her my whole life.

To add to all my totally confused feelings there were those weird feelings that didn't seem to belong to me polluting my body every so often. I was starting to wish I had never met these people. They were just too complicated. Except, as soon as I thought that I felt highly guilty and knew that those words were absolutely false. I felt like I belonged around these people, something I had never felt before in my whole life. I had been always been surrounded with people, though none of them cared for me and I also felt no love towards them. Even my own parents had abandoned me saying that I was a complication to their otherwise normal life. Well, at least, they abandoned me until I became seriously important. They then felt it necessary to re-acquaintance themselves with me. You might think, 'love isn't really found between Strigoi and Strigoi cannot get along however, that isn't exactly true. If we truly care for someone then it is easy to get along. Normally, the only thing that stops Strigoi getting along is their all corrupted need for power. When they put that aside there is no conflict.

I don't know how he managed it but Dimitri convinced me not to just go straight there and save Lissa even after we had sort of thought up a plan, (I say sort of because it wasn't a very good plan). Anyway, it showed just how much power he had over me. He suggested that we head back to the others and think up a plan with everyone else. I had then told Dimitri that that wasn't a very good idea as every second we weren't doing something was another second with Lissa at danger, he then pointed out that thinking up a good and full proof plan was doing something. He then decided to repeat his earlier comment and tell me that not having a plan puts Lissa at risk. Finally, probably just to annoy me, he mentioned that every second we weren't heading back to the others was a second we weren't doing anything.

With that last bit of reasoning he crossed the line from annoying me to pissing me off. So I growled at him and stomped off in the direction of the others.

DPOV

It was obvious to say the least that Rose was worried for Lissa's safety- as was I. The only reason she acted so bitchy was because she was worried for Lissa. That way she could hide her true feelings and act like the ice cold person she acted around people sometimes. She didn't want to show the rest of the world that she had feelings and that she could be broken down and that she wasn't invincible. She was so used to hiding behind that mask of anger and hatred that when she actually felt good emotions she felt the need to hide them. Even in front of me and I was the one person she had opened up so thoroughly to in a long time. There was only one word to describe that… sad, just plain sad.

"Dimitri, I have a plan so we can turn back and head straight for Lissa, it's better that way and we won't have to endanger everyone else," I raised an unbelieving eyebrow,

"You never give up do you?" I couldn't believe how stubborn she was.

"When I'm right about something I will stand up for what I believe in and show an extreme amount of determination!"

"The problem is that what you are suggesting isn't right, we already discussed why," she groaned surrenderingly.

"I'm not going to win am I? I mean, you won't even give me a chance to tell you my plan even though it is the full proof plan we need and involving everyone else is just putting everyone in danger," I smiled a smile I knew was full of love for her,

"We're going to find the others and that's final!" She flinched at the outward authority in my voice but stayed quiet. Well, for a minute at least,

"No one tells me what to do!" Her tone was playfully threatening now and I knew that she wasn't that bothered.

"I'm not nobody Rose," with that comment she shut up and we stayed in silence all the way back to reality.

RPOV

I decided to stay silent after our vocal round. Soon we had returned to reality and were back with everyone else.

Everyone just seemed relieved that I had returned in one piece and no one was suspicious as to why I had run off so recklessly. I left that down to the sake of my amazing story that I had told everyone which was an outward lie, even if I had ended up doing just that.

Alberta spoke first almost immediately after I had been welcomed back,

"Onto other issues we now have to think about how we are going to take on this rescue mission. I suggest that Rose you stay here and protect the rest of the Moroi and novices while me and Dimitri go after Lissa," well I definitely did not agree with that plan,

"No! I will not stay here and do nothing. You need my amazing ability. The queen appointed me with the job of protecting Lissa on this trip and I plan to do just that. Besides, I have a plan. I just need to... _tell_ everyone some things beforehand," I was scared, this could go down two ways and I wouldn't know which way it went until I told everyone.

"Alberta, I'm not exactly a… dhampir," I could see her considering this however she chose to keep her face expressionless.

"Well you are most certainly not a Moroi and you cannot be a Strigoi so what are you, a… human?" Well she was never going to guess what I was.

"Erh… no, I'm none of those things, or well… at least, not in the literal sense. I am part dhampir and part Strigoi," she looked outraged and could no longer hide her emotion.

"But Strigoi cannot have kids it is… impossible that you are what you say you are!" I felt almost guilty for some reason and knew that my face was betraying me. I had to move away from this subject as swiftly as possibly.

"Look…" I hesitated, not totally sure what to say. "It is a long and excruciatingly complicated story which we do not currently have the time for. Once Princess Vasilissa is safe we can have a long chat about this and I can explain just exactly what I am," I knew I was acting almost patronising now but I was just sick and tired of these constant complications. "All you need to know is that you can trust me as I am half Dhampir and I am a guardian, I have the molnija marks to prove it," okay, so I was lying, but it was a white lie to get on with this adventure and just go and save Lissa.

Eventually I managed to direct the conversation back on its track. Surprisingly enough, it seemed as if Alberta actually believed me and trusted me. I didn't know why but I was hardly going to complain. "Okay, so the plan is that I change into my Strigoi disguise. Once I look like a normal Strigoi they won't attack me. I will still smell the same so I will have to use some strong smelling perfume to hide my scent,"

"Wait, will you be able to breathe through the strong scent?" Dimitri asked. Although I was grateful for his caring I had been attempting to forget how much that strong a scent would burn my throat. It was a definite fact that it would feel like I have a bad allergy.

"I can handle the scent as long as she is safe, besides, the scent might even scare away the bad guys," it was supposed to be a joke but no one laughed. "Anyway, back to the plan, once they see I'm a Strigoi they won't attack me. I will then stop them from hurting Lissa and let her go. I will manage this as I _probably_ have more power than them and could kick their sorry asses if they disagree!" Wow, I sounded so badass saying that. I accidentally forgot to mention that I knew I had more power than them because I was in charge of all of them (and every other Strigoi for that matter) it was after all a circumstantial piece of information.

"How can you be certain that you will have more power than them? As you said you 'probably' have more power than them, not 'certainly' have more power than them," damn it, why did she have to ask that?

"Well you see, that's where you and Dimitri I mean, Guardian Belikov come in. if things go wrong then you guys can charge into the rescue and fight the Strigoi while I help Lissa," I could see from Alberta and Dimitri's expressions that they did think it was a good plan even if I was certain they were looking for holes in its otherwise perfect complexion.

"What about the Moroi through this? Who's going to protect them? They are, after all, first priority," I thought about this for a couple of minutes and looking around, everyone else was thinking about this too. Eventually Dimitri came up with a solution,

"Eddie is months away from graduation and you know that Christian had been practising fighting with offensive magic. I'm sure that they could all protect each other," Alberta gave a brief nod before answering,

"That is as good a plan as any we are going to come across. The only problem is we have no idea where Vasilissa is and can therefore not help her much at all," at that fleeting second one word filled my head and a tide of emotions washed over me, '_help'_ was all I heard before I was sucked into what seemed to be the head of someone else.

I was still in the forest but my thoughts, feelings and emotions were no longer my own. I looked around through the eyes of someone else and noticed that we were very deep into the forest. The canopy of trees here gave a very protective shade from the Sun even though it hadn't risen yet. Some deep, hidden instinct told me that I was facing north and that Lissa or… I as of such was sitting facing south.

There was no denying the fact that fear was the most standout feeling in her façade of emotions. She was petrified and she was tired. She hadn't been outwardly hurt badly but they were constantly taunting her and that hurt her mentally just as much.

In her mind I could see a myriad of pictures of her torturous trip here and I kept them Tran- scripted into my own memory. I could now found her. The most shocking thing though, was the attack she had mentally hit them with. It seemed that with only her mind she had thrown the Strigoi off their feet and across about fifty meters. She had no idea how she had managed it and I had no idea how she had managed it either, even though I had spent months studying spirit.

Suddenly a Strigoi came into focus and started speaking,

"Lissa…" he said in a friendly voice, "I'm going to ask you one last time before I kill you, who are your friends? Oh, and don't forget to show me your ability," I felt another wave of worry pass through me

"I… I do not know what you're talking about," it was said in a very weak voice and was hardly louder than a whisper. For the first time I noticed the rope that bonded her.

"Liar!" he snarled angrily and slapped Lissa face hard. An angry red mark appeared immediately. To echo his reaction I felt myself starting to anger up, a combination of what I knew was Lissa's anger and was passioned by my own.

"Rose!" I suddenly heard,

"Rose!" I heard once again,

"Rose!" With that shout of my name I was pulled back into my own head and felt the now familiar surroundings loom around me.

"W… What?" I mumbled in an utterly confused tone.

"Rose, are you okay? Your face was completely blank and it seemed as if you weren't actually there, we were really worried!" He sounded desperately worried for my safety and was acting totally cute. I was most definitely confused but I couldn't help but smile at my circumstances. Then I remembered what had just happened,

"I know where Lissa is," I spoke in a now very serious tone. All around me people were looking at each other questioningly. I knew I had all the answers.

**Hahaha wasn't that fun. I made you think that you were going to get to read the epic rescue scene and **_**again**_** you didn't. Oh come on, you've got to admit it was funny! I know. I'm totally evil. However, I have to keep all you people reading somehow. Besides, the suspense will make all of you even more excited to see what happens next.**

**Do not forget to review!**

**At least twelve reviews for an update!!! **


	10. Rescue

**Hey,**

**Sorry I haven't been able to update in ages however my Easter break was unbelievably busy and this last week all I've been able to do is rehearse for my exam (which was yesterday by the way). On top of all of that I had general revising to do for our final and most important tests of the year which I have got in a few weeks. A**s** a pre-warning, after this update I am not sure how long it will be before I can next update as I am going to put my tests first. Once there out the way I'll have a lot more time on my hands :)**

**Did I mention it's my birthday today?**

RPOV

After I had told them what I had seen, everyone was looking at me like I was crazy. They also looked slightly confused. Hell, I hardly believed it myself. The more I told my story, the stupider it seemed. Could I really have somehow transported myself into Lissa's body and then have the ability to see all she saw, thought and heard? I wasn't so sure. Well, anyone with sense wasn't too sure!

"Rose? Are you sure that's what you saw? I you sure you weren't hallucinating or, something like that?" Why does everyone have to judge things before they truly understand them?

"Yes I'm certain that's what happened, no I am not going mad," I answered for the thousandth time, "Now can we please get back to what is important right now… Lissa's life?"

"Well Rose, if you're certain what you saw is true and you actually know where Lissa is then by all means Rose, lead us!" Finally! Why did it take these people so long to realise that that was all I needed to do?

We set off in search of Lissa with me in the front leading everyone. I had the directions to get to her etched into my brain and only hoped that the Strigoi didn't move before I got to her. It was for that reason that we were moving hastily and covering a pleasing distance in a short amount of time. The whole trip so far had been in complete silence. Everyone was too busy contemplating what would happen and what could go wrong with this plan that no one could even be bothered to make feeble conversation. I also thought that everyone was now slightly weary of me. They had known that I was part Strigoi and it hadn't been a problem for a while. However ever since the Strigoi attack and then my 'vision', I don't think everyone trusts me anymore. Alberta won't even talk to me and the novices are seemingly guarding themselves around me and not talking to me as freely as they use to. Adrian was still cheerful and carefree when he was talking to me but considering his alcohol intake, that wasn't much of a surprise. He had lessened it recently so he could try and find Lissa in a dream but he said it wasn't working. It was as if there was a huge wall blocking his entrance.

Then there was Dimitri. He was still his normal self around me and that was a small comfort... however, how long was that going to last. He wasn't sure what to think of me ever since I told him that I had somehow saw things through Lissa. I think that like everyone else, he was worried that I was leading them into a trap. Or, if he wasn't worried of that, he was worried about my sanity. All of these things were just more reasons for us to get to Lissa quicker. Once I had done that, I would be able to prove that I was on their side and that they could trust me.

Slowly, we made our way down a steep hill. The Strigoi's really had hid Lissa in the perfect hiding place. Unfortunately, it made it all that much more difficult for us to get to her. I think that was the point.

"Rose, are we nearly there yet? Or, can't we at least stop? I'm hungry!" Adrian whined from behind me.

"Erh, how old are you?" I joked "Stop acting like a baby, we'll stop when we get to the bottom of the hill!" He grunted unhappily. Eug, spoilt royal brats, how I hate them.

"No, we shouldn't stop!" A voice barged in, "We need to get to Lissa as quickly as possible. We don't have time for lunch breaks!" It was Dimitri and he sounded impatient. No one dared disagree with his command and I wasn't surprised. It sounded so harsh and forceful. I knew well enough to know it was an act and that deep inside he was extremely worried and that not knowing what was happening to Lissa was excruciatingly painful. He saw her as a sister and felt very protective of her. The fact that she had been taken away, to him, made him feel as if he had failed. All the same worries that were going through my head were going through his: We shouldn't have wandered back, we should have been with everyone else instead of having a cosy chat….

DPOV

We had been trekking through the forest for at least a day now. Nightfall was quickly approaching and I knew that eventually I would have to let everybody stop. If not, I was putting everyone in danger. I had already failed to protect Lissa; having everyone else's head on a platter would not do wonders for my conscience!

I felt a presence next to me, I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn't realised that everyone had stopped. I turned to my side and realised it was Rose. Automatically a smile appeared on my face and her's echoed the gesture.

"Dimitri, we have to stop. It's getting dark and unsafe. I wouldn't like to take a bet on our chances of defeating Strigoi in the dark," I didn't do anything for a while but eventually I gave one brief nod of agreement. "Don't worry; she's stronger than you think. She'll pull through this! They can't hurt her because she could kick their arses using Spirit," I frowned. I knew it was a joke to lighten the mood but I didn't think Lissa had actually ever learnt to use Spirit offensively.

"She never learned to use her powers offensively…" Rose didn't say anything for a few seconds, her face deep in thought then; she smiled a smile that lit up her whole face.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure," her tone of voice suggested she knew something that she wasn't telling me. Her tone of voice also suggested that she wouldn't be telling me what it was.

LPOV

I had been held captive for more than a day now. They hadn't treated me badly exactly. I mean they had starved me and refused to undo the very tight rope bounding me, oh and there was the fact that they were constantly asking me to make the change into Strigoi and telling me that if I didn't I would die etc. etc. but apart from that… I mean I hadn't been hurt and that was a start. When I asked them why that was they said it was because they only needed me to attract the attention of the queen. I didn't think Tatiana even knew I had been kidnapped! Then they said that it was also because they did not need a repeat of the big phycic attack I had unleashed on them before. The truth was I didn't know how I had attacked them phycicly. I had just remembered getting really angry and then this burst of energy releasing from me and sending a Strigoi flying. However, as quickly as it had come it had left and I didn't know what to think of it.

I knew that Dimitri and Rose would be looking for me; I just had no idea how they were going to find me. The Strigoi had done a fantastic job of hiding me after all. I had tried with all my might to dream walk into Roses mind. If Adrian had managed it than obviously I could too however at the moment I had had no luck.

I hoped and hoped that they would arrive soon, and they did.

I heard the sound of feet running at a fast speed and then I heard shouting (the sound of the Strigoi), then I heard more shouting and this time I welcomed it. It was Rose.

RPOV

We had finally arrived at the Strigoi's hideout and even from our far away distance I could tell that there were definitely Strigoi talking. 'I had a serious urge to say I told you so' but I decided I would have to save that for when we actually saved Lissa. "Okay, everybody stick to the plan… unless it goes wrong, than just do whatever it takes to save Lissa. Alberta, take Eddie and the Moroi around the perimeter and surround the place. Christian, burn any Strigoi that gets near you or Adrian. Eddie, I'm sure you know what to do. Dimitri, find Lissa and get her to safety. I'll reveal myself to everyone; they won't dare disobey their queen. Remember everyone; our sole purpose is to get Lissa to safety... and keep yourselves alive. Take down as many Strigoi as you can but don't let that distract you from the plan. We'll meet back here as soon as we get Lissa," there was a nod from everyone and I knew then that everyone here was prepared to lay down their lives to save Lissa. Huh, there was never that much loyalty in the Strigoi world. Maybe I really should change sides…

"GO!" That one word pulled me out of my deliberations. Immediately I jumped into action. I breathed in and let myself become all Strigoi, well in appearance at least.

LPOV

From outside I could hear constant shouting and further in the distance, what sounded like fighting. I hoped no one was hurt.

"SILENCE!" The word glided through the sky, shaking me to my bones. It was so filled with power and fear. What shocked me most was that it was tinged with worry- for me. It was Rose's voice; there was no doubt about that.

"Your majesty," I heard someone whimper. Wait. When they said they wanted to attract the attention of the queen, they had meant their queen- Rose… "Tell me. Why did you interrupt my journey, you have totally ruined my plan. There is no way I can gain _their _trust now!" She spat

"We, we didn't know. When you disappeared without telling anybody and didn't come back for months, everybody was worried. Me and my men were hunting you and when we saw you with _them…_" That one word was so full of venom I knew exactly who he was talking about, "We just needed to get your attention!" He stuttered. There was a loud cracking sound and then a hideous moan.

"Well you definitely succeeded in getting my attention! However, I expect my people to act in a much more intelligent way, contemplate all possibilities before coming to a conclusion!" Her voice was getting louder, "I have no idea how I am going to manage what I was attempting to manage now. Worst of all, I am going to have to kill all of you. You!" She shouted at who knows, "You insulted me. You suggested that I was aligned with puny Moroi's!" That comment literally ripped my heart out. "It is for this reason," She whispered in a soft but deadly voice. "It is for this reason that I will not honour you with a quick death as I will with everyone else but give you a slow and painful torture of the…"

Her voice was cut off as I heard a brief "Lissa" from nearby, "Lissa!" it was louder now and the voice sounded familiar.

"Dimitri?" My voice was uncertain

"Lissa?"

"I'm over here," I spoke in a clear confident voice, all my worries fading away.

Within seconds Dimitri's towering form appeared and was by my side a second later.

"Are you okay? They haven't hurt you have they?"

"I'm fine Dimitri," I assured him. He got the rope bounding me off and with myself free I immediately stood up and stretched my legs. "It's good to be free to move again,"

"Come on, we need to get out of here… before the screaming starts.

"Screaming?" I didn't have time to ask him though because he was pulling me along and we were running away at a quick speed. Eventually he gave up on pulling me a long and just lifted me up and ran. We moved a lot quicker this way. "When are we going to stop?"

"Now!" he put me down and I noticed that I was about a hundred metres away from the Strigoi camp. Looking down I saw Rose still full of power and extremely deadly.

"Dimitri? What did you mean by 'screaming'," but he didn't have time to answer because a the most bone shaking, piercing sound I had ever heard filled the air.

**Okay, so was that a dramatic engine or what. Don't forget to review because they mean the world to me. Thank you for all the reviews I got for the last chapter, I got loads.**

**I'll update as soon as I can but bye for now :)**

**~Kajsa :)**


	11. Fear

**Hi,**

**I was in a very depressed mood today so I listened to tons of classical music. Everything from Greensleeves to Bella's lullaby and at one point I think I even listened to chopsticks! I'm still listening to classical music now so if anyone has any suggestions please tell me. **

**Ok I decided that I'm bored of revising and that I've done all that I can and I'll just have to do my best in my exams. So, I'm giving you the next chapter. Enjoy!**

DPOV

I had tried to get Lissa away from her prison as quickly as possible. I did not want to take the chance that a Strigoi would catch up with us. In my tired mood I wasn't sure I could handle a fight… but that wasn't the only reason. Rose had given me a brief explanation as to what she would have to probably do to keep her and us safe. She had also mentioned something about how her whereabouts could not get out but the main point was that I should get out of there quickly.

"Dimitri, what do mean by 'screaming'…" I didn't have time to answer her before the most terrifying sound I had ever heard filled the air. It pierced me straight to my very soul and I actually thought I could feel the pain held in that dreadful scream. It disrupted the natural movement of the forest and anything within twenty meters coward in fear.

"Lissa, put your hands over your ears!"

"What is that?" She stuttered.

"It doesn't matter, just wait here for Christian and Eddie to come back,"

"Okay…" I looked up and searched for Rose but immediately regretted it. As soon as I saw her I thought I would have a heart attack. The power that she held in her arms was something I had never seen before- and it scared me. All around her there were Strigoi writhing in pain. She was glowing with potency. Her face was merciless and out of control. I knew that very soon all those Strigoi would be dead, but I also knew that if I didn't try to help her she would lose control and then who knew what could happen! I needed to get down to her but I couldn't leave Lissa. I had a feeling that no Strigoi would get near her any time soon but that didn't mean she was safe.

My prayers were answered as at that second Eddie and Christian appeared with Alberta trailing behind them, probably watching out for any loose Strigoi.

"You lot," I directed at them, "Stay here with Lissa, I need to get to Rose; she needs me," Alberta gave me a funny look, but I ignored it and ran towards Rose.

All around me, Strigoi were dropping down dead and still Rose continued to agonise them. It was then that I realised she was still holding one Strigoi paralysed. Whereas everyone else was dead or on the floor squirming, this Strigoi was dangling precariously in the air.

I continued to sprint towards her. The short distance I knew it was to her was taking too long to run and the screaming was continuing- quieter, but still there. Suddenly, the forest went silent. The screaming had finally stopped. I slowed down, not wanting to scare her. She turned towards the levitated Strigoi.

"Go back to whoever it is that sent you to find me and tell them they are foolish to believe that it was necessary to find me. Me! The ruler of all Strigoi, the almighty one, the one who holds the power to kill you with a single thought. It's pathetic!" She spat. "Tell them that they are lucky I am feeling so merciful at this moment, so much so even that I am prepared to leave them alive! You on the other hand… I will kill, eventually… so watch your back!" She smiled evilly then let him collapse to the ground. Almost immediately, he got up and raced away. Within seconds he was out of viewing distance- and Rose. This was a Rose I had never seen before and had refused to believe existed. I guess I was too quick to judge. Dhampir and Strigoi, a deadly mix…

As soon as he was gone Rose turned to me. "Dimitri? Come to save me?" She asked mockingly. "Why do you choose a life of good? It's so much fun being evil. I don't know what I was thinking choosing good over evil; refusing to drink the blood of a pathetic mortal; actually caring for someone! That stupid royal Moroi put a bloody spell on me. It's the only reason to explain why I am even still here!" I was shocked at her. She was completely void to what was happening around her or even who I was. I felt so helpless and didn't know how to help her.

"Rose, listen to me," I commanded. Her head shot forward in my direction.

"You dare try and mandate me! You have no right!" I stood motionless, trying to get her to understand through my eyes.

"Rose, _please_, I don't know what to do and I'm scared for you!" I was begging now.

"Scared? Scared you should be- but only for you," Her voice was now as soft as a whisper. I turned away, not able to take anymore of seeing her like this. All she did was laugh. I felt my heart shattering inside of me.

Seconds, minutes, hours went by, all in complete silence. The silence had helped clear my head and I could now try and think of a plan. I went through memory after memory of my time with her when abruptly; a thought appeared in my head. It seemed slim and stupid but by this point I was prepared to try anything. I turned around and faced her. A look of what seemed like sadness filled her face. I didn't let myself think about it before pouncing forward and pulling her into my arms. Her body felt so cold it was slightly uncomfortable. I didn't let her have time to react before I smashed my lips onto hers and kept an iron grip around her. At first I think she was too shocked to react but as soon as she had regained common sense she was struggling against my grip. I didn't loosen my grip one bit and concentrated on kissing her instead. I had attempted to ignore my longing to do what I was doing now for too long. All the unsteady passion that had been building up in me was suddenly releasing itself into this kiss. The whole world was melting before my eyes. I didn't care that Rose was struggling against me, or that I was kissing her to try and restore her too her proper state. It didn't even matter that she wasn't kissing me back. I just continued to kiss her with all the hunger I had. And suddenly, she relaxed in my arms. She stopped fighting and instead started kissing me back. I was too shocked to care why she was now giving in and only continued to kiss her. I was floating in a cloud of happiness and nothing would penetrate that cloud, or at least that's what I thought… _Dimitri stop!_ The silent word filled my head like the strongest command and I felt myself pulling back and manoeuvring myself out of our heated kiss. I completely let go of her.

Rose turned away from me as soon as I let her go. I didn't know why I had stopped kissing her; it was all I wanted to return to.

"Rose? Are you okay?" I asked her shakily. For minutes she didn't answer and everything was silent but eventually she made a shaky sound that faintly resembled a laugh.

"Just go Dimitri. I'm never going to be what I was before again. That person I was was an illusion… and one that I will never again be," Her tone no longer held that evil side to it, but it was still extremely harsh and commanding. All around me, I felt my world breaking. The thin rope of hope I had held onto had finally snapped and I knew that there was no longer anything I could do to help her. It was too late, nothing would fix things.

So I turned away, leaving the girl that I now knew I had fallen for, behind me. Never once did I look back, knowing that the pain would be too much to uphold, until eventually I got back to the others. I knew they had saw and heard everything that had gone on in our small confrontation and they now had sympathetic looks on their faces. I hated sympathy. I knew that my face was giving away too much emotion so I forced my cool, not bothered poker face on and spoke as confidently as I could, "Come on, let's go. There's nothing left for us here," With that I started walking in a homebound direction knowing that the others would rapidly follow.

I took one last look in Rose's direction and noticed that she was wistfully watching me; I tried not to look in her eyes but gave her one last scan. I burned her beautiful profile into my memory. With that one last look I had abandoned my heart…

**I know this was quite a short chapter and I had considered continuing it and going into Rose's bit but I felt that this was the real way this chapter had to end. Unfortunately, that's also the end of the story…**

… **JOKING! Hahaha, you should have seen your face. I would not end this story so unfinished and with no happy ending. Instead I'll just leave you with this chapter to let you ponder and suspect about what has and is going to happen between Rose and Dimitri ;D **


	12. Pain and Desperation

**Hey guys,**

**Okay, I'm sorry that I haven't uploaded in almost a month, I feel so guilty. However, I have just been so busy with tests it's unbelievable. I spent two weeks doing nothing but revision in every free second I had and then I had tests every day from the start of last week. I literally haven't had one free second to do anything and therefore updating my stories was pretty low on my need to do list. In general I won't let that happen and I don't think it will happen again. These tests were so important and it was so important that I did well in them. At least I won't have any more tests until next year :)**

**One thing I did squeeze into my busy schedule was time to read Spirit Bound. I finished reading it on Friday and it was so amazing! I won't say anything about it for the sake of anyone who hasn't read it yet xx**

RPOV

It was difficult to explain what exactly had happened to me. It had started off well. I had gotten back into playing the role of Strigoi queen and it had been so easy. Everything I had said had of course been completely false but I had always been a very good actress. Anyway, I sounded scary and I acted scary but it came to the part where I knew I would have to prove myself- and I couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt my own people (sort of) pointedly, not for any reason at all. I couldn't act so sanctimonious and shameless. They didn't really deserve it.

I knew that I was just about ready to convince myself not to go through with this so I thought of all the horrible things I could imagine they did to Lissa. I thought of Lissa in general. What they had done to her angered me so much that all I wanted to do was rip those bastards' throat out. I felt the undeniable power build up in me again and suddenly… something just clicked back into place. I didn't see good, I only saw evil. In front of me I saw subjects that had betrayed me and deserved to die. I wanted to be the one that sanctioned their death. I would be the one that sanctioned their death! Somewhere in the back of my mind a small voice shouted at me that what I was doing was wrong and that I had lost control but it was too late.

I sent the leader away to whomever it was he was working for so that he could tell them I was fine, I had a plan and that I knew what I was doing. I planned to let him live in the fear of what was coming; his death. He could run but he couldn't hide. Everyone else I planned to give them a quick, merciful death… sort of however he would have a prolonged death. The fear that it was coming always over his shoulder and unable to sleep without keeping one eye open. He deserved every second of it.

I faced the remaining Strigoi. A few had attempted to escape but had been stopped by the others. I let the power build within me until it came to a point of outburst. Only then did I release it, and it was such an amazing feeling. It was a special ability that I had acquired when I became queen. I had the ability to force a great amount of pain through noise which only attacked Strigoi. If taken to the right level or with enough strength behind it, it could potentially kill a Strigoi- and this was what I planned to do.

I looked at the weakness on all my enemies' faces. They were probably feeling an agonising amount of pain. In that second they were all so vulnerable that anyone could have come out of anywhere and staked them. It probably would have been a less painful death than this.

At some point in my power consuming charade the tiny voice in my head returned and told me that I was losing control, that I needed to stop this. The dhampir me wanted to stop but the Strigoi me was revelling in the power and control I possessed. The real me wanted to stop but I just couldn't.

The first of the Strigoi dropped down dead and deep inside a wave of guilt passed over me. However, it was quickly overcome by my solid black heart. Within seconds the next Strigoi dies and so it continued. I felt a new presence walking cautiously towards me and when looking I found out it was Dimitri. My heart jumped at the sight of him and part of my old self returned to me. The last of the Strigoi collapsed before me and finally the power drained away. Dimitri decided to choose this moment to intervene and talk. I heard his voice but I didn't hear his words. I was still in my own black hole and I felt completely engulfed by darkness. I couldn't hear, talk, and feel. It was nothing but an endless emptiness, a jail cell I was permanently trapped in.

Suddenly, out of nowhere I felt a hand grasp my waist and pull me towards them. Suddenly, I felt lips crashing down on me. At first I felt a wave of complete shock but eventually my senses completely returned to me and I realised what I was doing, kissing Dimitri Belikov. As soon as I had this revelation I started kissing him back, forgetting about all my problems. The Strigoi in me faded returning to Dhampir and I was now able to think clearly about what had actually just happened.

The passion between us was like nothing I had ever felt before and I had most definitely never kissed someone like I was kissing him now. Unfortunately, the guilt finally managed to break through my façade and the full extent of what I had just done hit me like a punch to the head. The guilt was just too much. Here I was kissing a guy when I had just killed about twenty people. _Dimitri stop_ I commanded him through compulsion, knowing he would have to obey. He let go of me immediately and I turned away quickly. I didn't want him to see that I was a Dhampir again. The thing I had to do next would break his heart and mine, but it would be for the best and it would hurt the least people. "Rose? Are you okay?" He asked me uncertainly. I forced a laugh out of myself and then answered him with as much force and harshness as I could,

"Just go Dimitri. I'm never going to be what I was before again. That person I was was an illusion… and one that I will never again be," saying that line heart like hell and the whole of my heart tore into two. I so wanted him to stay, to try and convince me otherwise, but I had to hold on. If I didn't then everyone: Lissa, Adrian, Eddie, Christian and Dimitri would get hurt, physically as well as mentally. Todays show had proved that I was too unstable to be around anyone but Strigois. I could lose control at any second and not even realise it. I could hurt my friends and the people I had grown to think of as my family and not even know it.

I felt the endless silence brew through it. All the while I was begging silently for Dimitri to refuse to go, to stay, to want me. All I wanted was to shout out to the world that I was lying to myself. I wanted to go back up to him and let him comfort me and kiss me again; but I couldn't. I kept my mouth clamped shut in an attempt to stop it from shouting out some forbidden words.

What seemed like a lifetime later I felt the air brush against me as he moved. I turned around for one last glimpse and saw that he was already looking at me. I tried to hide my eyes but he was refusing to look in them. The look on his face showed all of his pain which was another direct stab at my heart. I heard him say something to the others before starting to leave. In what seemed like confusion, everyone else followed.

With each step he took further away from me my heart yearned even more for him. I was still hoping he would change his mind and turn back to me. I quickly shut away that part of my mind. What I was doing was for the greater good, even if it hurt like hell. In a way this was my punishment, a way to put right the massacre I had caused. I knew that with his leave he had taken a part of my heart I, if this plan was to work (which it would), would never see again. Although, for some reason, somehow I was alright with that. I could live with a part of me missing because it was where it belonged.

I had longed given up hope on Dimitri coming back and had pretty much just collapsed on the floor, giving up any trace of hope. Frankly, I was too tired to care about all of it anymore. I had been lying on the ground for a few hours now. At this second I was no Strigoi queen. I doubted I could even qualify as being as vulnerable as a Moroi. Right now I was acting fairly pathetically in fact; you could compare me to a _human_. Out of nowhere I felt random emotions of anxiety and disappointment as well as a drop of sadness. They were not my own and I knew for a fact that they were Lissa's. It was the exact same sort of feelings I had felt just before I had been pulled into her head. I still didn't get what exactly was going on with that but decided it didn't really matter right now. I could investigate things like that later- after I had stopped feeling sorry for myself.

I forced myself off the ground. My legs actually hurt from lack of exercise and movement. I stretched them for a bit until feeling returned to them. I gave a quick glance in the direction my friends had departed. If I wanted I could follow them and probably catch up with them by the end of the day. However, that would only be hurting them. I had to hold on for their sakes and in a way, my own.

I walked around the near perimeter considering what I could do. There was always that Strigoi I could go after and kill but I thought I would prolong his death a while later. Actually, I'd get someone else to sort him out I didn't want to risk losing control again. Wait. I was getting someone else to kill someone for me. Even as a Dhampir I was still ruthless. This was just more enhanced proof that I couldn't risk being with the other.

What could I do? I could go and do some research and try and work out what was going on with Lissa and me. I could do some more travelling. That was after all what everyone thought I was now doing. Finally, I could return to the throne and get back to ruling all my people. All of those options somehow didn't seem like the right thing to do as I wanted to do all of them. Actually I did know what I was going to do. I was going to do a mix of everything I had suggested. I smiled at the thought before taking off at a sprint in the direction of home and everything I had always known. I didn't know why I smiled, but suddenly things didn't seem so bad…

**Hey! I know at the end all the talk to herself is slightly confusing and hard to follow but that was the idea, to show how confused and lost she is and to express her current state of mind.**

**Although I absolutely hate writing this I have to make a comment about the amount of reviews I got for the last chapter. I was seriously disappointed. Five! I only got five. All you lot know you can do better than that. In fact, I want at least fifteen to post up the next chapter. :)**

**~Kajsa~ :D **


	13. Is This Right or Wrong?

**Hey, sorry this upload is slightly late. I was staying at a friend's house over the weekend and then I had this huge project to do for homework so I didn't have time to write.**

**Thanks for all the comments and adding me as a favourite etc. **

**My tests went alright. I got some of my marks and grades back and on those ones I didn't do too badly. The tests I've still got to get my levels on are the ones I'm most worried about so…**

**I went to see Alicia Keys at the O2 arena last week, she was amazing. While there I met JLS. Anyone English will probably know who they are ;)**

**I don't really know what made me write this chapter like this. I guess I was just in one of those moods. **

**Listen to this song while reading this chapter… it suits :)**

.com/watch?v=ZDakNkbOM9c&feature=fvst

**It is: Run- originally by Snow Patrol but this version is sung by Leona Lewis**

RPOV

One month. One long, painful month. I had been able to keep my sanity for thirty days, but now it was just plain torture. A lot had happened in a month. I had realised just important I was to my people- which even to me is a complete surprise. Apparently, without me the Strigoi world practically collapsed into chaos. I had also learnt that my parents actually did care for me; in their own twisted way. They had been the ones trying to find me and apparently they only ever abandoned me because it was a risk to their status and appearance to the public. I laughed at that one. I learnt that the connection between me and Lissa makes no sense and that I probably won't be able to find the answer from books. Last but not least I learnt that I totally hate being back here and that I miss Dimitri a ridiculous amount. Why did love always have to hurt so badly?

DPOV

One month. One month of pure pain, torture and heartache. One month of having to hide it behind a mask that suggested I was completely fine. I didn't want to have to hide my feeling anymore! I was most definitely not okay, and worst of all was that the only thing that could help me was unobtainable. The only thing I wanted to do was forget about work and search for her. I knew it was the most unprofessional and reckless thing I could do but right now my heart was controlling me. At first I had hoped she would change her mind, realise that she needed me and come back to me. It had been a month and not one word. I knew I sounded desperate but I was really struggling, attempting to handle this. The worst part about the whole charade was that I knew she had faked her speech at the end. Knowing her she had probably felt it was best me and her to stay apart. She probably thought it was keeping both me and Lissa safe. I knew that it was protecting me from nothing. Every second of the day, all I could think about was Rose. Rose, Rose and more Rose.

I thought about her for a few minutes, still hoping for her to appear out of nowhere. I had to stop acting like this. IT was time to do something about this whole situation.

LPOV

One month. One month since that unforgettable trip. One month since I met my bond mate and didn't even know it- well not until now. I had known there was a strange bond between us and I had simply been curious as to why. I had spent time researching my past and hers and had only found on article that made even the slightest bit of sense and even that was limited. It suggested that when we were both about four, our parents' cars had collided. This had been an attempt to kill me and my parents and get rid of their own daughter who was a blip in their reputation. The accident had failed to kill me and my family (they just happened to die in a later accident… ironic…) but had left their daughter seriously injured. This was all said from the point of view of a witness to the scene. One second she had been near death and the next she just seemed to disappear. I had been caught lying next to her beforehand. It seemed really unlikely but if this was true than I had resurrected her without even realising it at the age of four. Most Moroi's didn't even develop abilities at that age.

The whole scene seemed too unbelievable, consequential and frankly impossible. Then again Rose was impossible. Maybe her abilities had somehow effected my 'to be' power and had caused me to cure her. Even with that suggestion there was the weird fact that I didn't remember even slightly this huge accident. Even if it was true or not, what I was definite about was that Rose was my bond mate- and now she was gone.

Dimitri had refused to tell us even a little of what had happened between him and her. I knew that something big had happened there which had completely changed the whole situation between him and her. Whatever it was though, it had upset Dimitri greatly. He acted as if he was fine but as usual I could see that it was just a mask and that his true feelings were completely hidden. He was just too good an actor sometimes. Not me though. He was like a brother to me. I had learnt to read past his mask to his true feelings. It might have had something to do with Spirit, I wasn't sure. Either way, right now he was upset; really upset. I had to do something about it, for me and for Dimitri.

APOV

One month. One month since I met the girl I'm in love with. It had been as amazing meeting her last year. I had met her and immediately knew she was different from her aura. It had the gold tinge of a shadow kissed being, but it was then just a mix of dark and light colours, mix of different moods and emotions and this weird darkness surrounding her. Then there were the colours that marked her as a dhampir, but they were tainted by the darkness of a Strigoi. Also, she looked like a dhampir. I had been instantly intrigued. There was also the fact that she was amazingly attractive. I am who I am through my reputation.

I finished the third bottle of whiskey. It helped with the depression of spirit magic- and heartache. I was never going to see Rose again, and all because she had thought it would be better for everyone else. I had seen and heard the whole talk between her and Dimitri. I had seen how he turned her back into a dhampir with one kiss. That had been the first stab at my heart. Then I had seen her lie to him, through her words and her aura, telling him that she wasn't ever going to pretend to be someone else again (a jab at his heart this time). Finally I had seen him walk away from her, believing her whole story. And me? All I could do was follow the rest of them.

Once again I thought about when we first met. My curiosity getting the better of me I had walked up to her and greeted her in a polite manner. Some strange emotion had passed through her eyes at the sight of me. I knew she had known who I was because she immediately greeted me by name. We had started to talk and very slowly I eased my way into the conversation, waiting for the right moment to pop the cork. It never came though. She was just too cautious. Any means of conversation that even slightly stood a chance of taking shape as me asking her what she actually was she cut short. After that, I immediately knew something was wrong however, all I could do want continue to ask and speak my way to the answer.

In the end I gave up on the whole situation and just asked her. At first she had pretended to not know what I was talking about but in the end she gave in and explained _some_ of her story to me. We had spent about three months together. I wanted to get to know more about her weird heritage and she wanted to learn about spirit so we had a comfortable relationship. The problem was that as I got to know her more and I spent more time with her, I learnt more than just what it was like to rule the Strigoi world, I learnt about her actual self. I learnt her hobbies, her likes and… I fell in love with her…

One night she left in a hurry. She said that she had an emergency to sort out and that she'd be back in the morning. Morning came; she didn't. I waited each day for her to return, acting like a lovesick puppy waiting for their master to return after they have been abandoned. _I_ felt abandoned.

Eventually I gave up on her waiting for her to return. She was half Strigoi and I never should have trusted her. I had seen both sides of her façade and I had thought that that would be enough for us- but it wasn't. For all these reasons you could believe the shock I had felt when I had seen her that day in camp. At first I thought I had been imagining the whole situation. I only knew I wasn't dreaming when I pinched myself and she was still there.

I had tried very hard to get every living moment possible spent with Rose. Unfortunately, it seemed that she would always be on guardian duty or talking to Dimitri or Lissa. The whole time she had been there she had barely had one conversation with me. We would always be interrupted by someone else. The worst part of it was that she even started choosing to spend time with Dimitri instead of me when she was off duty. It was as if I didn't even matter anymore. I felt so powerless! All I could do was watch as she and Dimitri slowly fell in love with each other. Or at least that's what their auras were shouting at me.

I was tired of this endless depression. I actually did want to feel happy for once! There was only one way to get that though. Find Rose. I knew it was what Dimitri and Lissa were considering doing. The problem was that finding Rose was an impossible task. She didn't want to be found. And with that simple realisation of truth it was fair to say we wouldn't be finding Rose. I knew that wasn't going to stop me or the others though. This was just something we had to do.

C (Christian) POV

One month. One month of having to deal with a depressed Lissa. I loved her to bits but it was obvious she wanted Rose back. I could read it off her face that she wanted her friend she had only known for a while back. The problem was that Dimitri wouldn't even hint on what had happened. I knew that was probably because he was struggling to handle it himself. Frankly I didn't get what was wrong with Rose. She had seemed so happy around us, just about ready to get a job at St. Vladimir's. Okay probably not. Still, she literally just left without even a goodbye. It was bitchy even for her. Something bad definitely happened between her and Dimitri. If Dimitri would only tell us what happened then we could probably get a bit more understanding of the situation and maybe even closure. He wouldn't speak though. He said it was nothing and that Rose had just decided it was time to return to her people. Bullshit! She had made it quite clear how unenthusiastic she was about returning to her people.

I would do anything in the world for Lissa; even go on a crazy hunt for Rose. It would have been nice to know a bit more about the situation first though. It was inevitable that I did something. I had too for Lissa… and for myself. I actually sort of liked Rose. Sure she was way too similar to me for us to ever be friends, but I guess we could be like brother and sister.

RPOV

I'm not going to deny it anymore. Being away from Dimitri as well as Lissa is killing me. My heart yearns for Dimitri and I feel like I'm missing my sister without Lissa. I know I'm kidding myself believing I will be able to hold on and avoid them. It's only a matter of time before my heart wins over my common sense. But until then I will hold on. I won't do anything. This is what is best for everyone.

**Okay, what did you think?**

**I wasn't sure about this chapter at first but now I think I actually quite like it.**

**I'm sorry about the crap way I had incorporated the reason for Rose being bonded to Lissa in. It was the best thing I could come up with as I honestly had no idea how they could be bonded. The best idea I got was that they had already met and just didn't know it.**

**This was actually a really difficult chapter for me to write and I understand if you don't like it. Please give your opinion and give me a review. I honestly want your opinion and constructive criticism. Besides, it will only take about two minutes to do! :)**

**Bye bye: D Kai xx**


	14. Hopeless

**Hey guys xx :)**

**Sorry I haven't uploaded in like a century or something I have just been so busy over the last three weeks. Also, to be honest I didn't really know what to write and I have had a serious case of writers block.**

**I went to see Killers in the cinema yesterday with Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher. It was so funny! :)**

**I have a profile on Wattpad under the name stargirl97 if any of you are interested on reading my stories on there. It's actually a real cool website. You can post up any story at all that you've written, including writing fanfiction. There are some really talented writers on the site also. So yeah, just try it out if you feel like it :)**

**I thought I'd give you a little information on what exactly Rose does as queen and Strigoi politics. Also, I've always wanted to write something like this. **

**Who are you supporting in the World Cup? I was supporting France (as I am French) but I kind of lost hope in them after their first game. I suppose I'm supporting England since I live in England. We did a draw at my school with all the World Cup teams and whoever has the country that wins the World Cup gets a box of chocolates. I was unlucky enough to pick out South Korea but hey they're through to the next round so it's all good.**

RPOV

I sat on the huge sofa, attempting to concentrate on the television. The problem was my mind was a thousand miles. I had no idea what had happened in the last hour of television I had been watching. I was still feeling sorry for myself and acting really depressed. All I could think about was Dimitri… Damn it! Why did I have to fall in love with my enemy? Every second of the day for me was absolute torture. I would never be able to concentrate on some topic I had to sort out because all I could think about was the life I didn't have. I was a total waste of time at any meeting and I knew that I wasn't in the right state for a Strigoi queen to be in. except I didn't want to be here doing what I had to do; and that was why I was abusing my duties as queen.

Today I had one of those usual meetings where we talked about who knows what and everyone complained about how horrible their life was and how they just wanted to kill themselves the world was so evil. Humour me. I'd heard it all and believe me, apart from those occasions when you heard some really entertaining but pathetic story, it was really boring.

I walked into the board room and sat in my usual seat at the head of the table. Slowly, everyone filed into the room, allocating themselves seats. When everyone had finally arrived I called the meeting into order. "This meeting has now been called into order," I introduced. "Our Main topics we will be talking about today are: the global famine and the rising drug problems that have been escalating. Almost immediately a Strigoi council member started speaking.

"It isn't fair that we are forced to ration our blood. We're only allowed to kill two people a day. That is no way enough blood to satisfy our needs!" I sighed. It had been the same problem for a while now. Unfortunately, they were the rules. Even I didn't get a free pass on them. "Why should we listen to any deal made with the Moroi? They still kill us endlessly without a second thought. They have no right to limit our blood supply when they are free to take as much as they want," he spoke nonchalantly. I turned to him.

"Christopher, the difference is that they don't kill their prey. Besides, the blood rule has been negotiated with Tatiana as a way to protect us! The council members! If you disagree then you can leave and go live as the majority of the Strigoi do live. The only difference is here you have protection, outside you are there's for the picking," I made sure to stare directly into his eyes, knowing that that would deliver the message better. The ruling was that basically anyone who worked alongside me in any way, even to the thinnest of links was safe and wouldn't be killed as long as they did not kill more than two people a day. Of course if they directly attacked an important Moroi they would be stopped. I hadn't been happy negotiating with Tatiana but it had been necessary. The main importance was that we kept all of our main leaders alive.

Eventually the talk on our 'famine' finished and we went on to talk about the growing drug problem. People had started mixing blood with who knows what and making drugs. Just like the human stuff they affected your way of thinking, feeling and acting. Some amplified the rush of drinking blood, some strengthened you and some just made you feel happy. I wasn't sure whether this was a problem or not. I hadn't even realised it was possible for a Strigoi to get high.

In reality, I didn't think it was a problem. If they wanted to take drugs then they could. I doubted any Strigoi would be able to make a drug that was harmful to a Strigoi so obviously it didn't really matter. My theory was that what people were annoyed about is the fact that our race were taking up a human… 'tradition'. "Is this really a problem?" My voiced echoed round the hollow room. "This isn't going to hurt their health and at the end of the day I can't control what they choose to consume. Besides, we're Strigoi so if I put in a rule it would only be broken," I heard a few grunts of agreement however, the atmosphere of the room suggested that everyone knew I was right.

I thought it was over at that point and that the conversation could go somewhere else. Of course, it had to be at that point that someone decided to speak.

"Alright, I understand where you are coming from. We _are_ Strigoi and it would be just like us to do something like invent drugs. On the other hand, there is nothing to say they should be allowed to sell these…" she trailed off at the end of her sentence, as if to leave as in suspension. "I think that if you made the drug then you should be allowed to use it personally. _But_!" She really exaggerated the 'but' "I think that if we are to allow them to sell them to other people that we get more involved in the behind the scenes and that they pay us some of their profit!" I understood where she was coming from. Her lines of thinking were basically "Let's make money on something that could be potentially illegal- if we wanted.

I was tired of this meeting; it was just dragging on and on.

"Let's vote then. Who agrees that we put a tax on the making and selling of these new found drugs?" Around the room the majority of the peoples' hands shot up. I counted to make sure. "That's eighteen to ten therefore the rule is now that no one will make or sell drugs without a license and without paying a _reasonable_ sum of money to us," the room went quiet as I passed the room. "Are there any more problems that we can talk about before I close this meeting?" No one seemed to need anything. "Okay then, I officially clo…"

"Wait!" I turned towards the person who spoke.

"I think we have a real problem with security and it's been bugging me for a while," I raised an eyebrow in interest. "I know that we are the badass Strigoi that don't need protecting because we are so strong and can take down a lot of people in the blink of an eye. What I am trying to tell you is that even though we don't need it, some sort of protection would be nice," I really didn't have time to listen to stupid suggestions like this. Well, okay I had tons of time to listen to stupid suggestions like this but it was more so that I didn't want to.

"Can you really think of anyone stronger than us who could protect us?" There was an eerie silence around the room. "That's what I thought. Now, if everyone's done I'm going to close this meeting, okay?" I saw a few nods or heard some grunts that said they agreed. "I now pronounce this meeting closed. Goodbye everyone," I stood up and walked out of the room without a second glance. Everyone else would leave when they wanted.

I decided to go watch the television in my office again. I had nothing better to do. I really had to get over myself and do… something- anything. My behaviour right now was totally out of character. I never let anyone make me feel like this and when I did feel annoyed or depressed or any other weird emotion, I just ignored it and moved on. That was me. I kept all my emotions bottled up and pretended everything was fine, even when it wasn't.

I was wallowing in my sadness when suddenly a loud ringing sound shot through my ear canal, causing my ear drum to vibrate vigorously. It was the warning alarm. "Jason? What's wrong?" I asked the Strigoi that shot through the door at the speed of light.

"There is a group of Moroi with their guardians that have intercepted the building. They have already taken down eight of our men and I am worried that they are starting an attack. Your majesty, we need to get you to safety- quickly!" His voice was drenched in worry, fear and panic. This attack must be worse than I thought.

"I'm not just going to sit there and let our people die I am going to fight!"

"I don't think you realise what you are up against. You have always listened to my council. Well, listen to me now. You need to leave before things here get ugly. The Strigoi world can't afford to lose a queen like you- even if they are too shy to say it themselves," I studied Jason carefully. He had always been a loyal member of the council and the closest thing a Strigoi could ever call a friend to me. I trusted him a fair amount and I knew that what he was saying was right. I did need to go. Yet something was stopping me. After all, it was my duty to rule the Strigois, not stand back and watch them die while I lounge around on my ass doing well… nothing.

"Rose, please! This is a direct attack at you! Just this once could you not be stubborn and let me do my job- let me protect you," I knew he was waiting for me to get at angry at him for calling me stubborn and for shouting at me however this time he might just have had reason to.

"Fine. I'll hide away like a coward and let the rest of you do my work for me," I said sarcastically although already heading away in the direction of safety. Not that I was actually going to go there, I just wanted to make it look like that's where I was going. Even I hadn't lost myself that much to hide away from a fight. If they wanted me then they could come and get me.

When I was certain Jason couldn't see me anymore I took a sharp turn to the left and planned to double back and try and find the fight. I felt the first ounce of excitement I had felt in weeks.

I went back and started following Jason's scent. It wasn't long before I found the fight, or more so what was left of the fight. The guards had seen them as a threat to me but apparently not them, bastards! They totally underestimate me. Then again, all the guards they sent had been taken down so…

I continued to watch for anything from my hiding place. Obviously whoever was here was now gone but that didn't mean they wouldn't come back.

Suddenly a familiar scent filled my nostrils and seconds later it was followed by a voice.

"Rose?" I turned and looked into the face of the closest thing I could every come to having a best friend.

"Lissa," It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I should have known they would come and look for me. I ended my trail of thought when I realised that someone had crept up behind Lissa…

**Sorry to end it there but I'm nothing without my dramatic chapter endings, lol ;) Besides, I have to go to school now so I don't really have time to write more.**

**Don't forget to review, review and review some more :) **

**Bye, Kajsa 8-) **


	15. Decisions

**Hey!**

**OK, I know I'm ridiculously late updating but the past two or three weeks has been seriously hectic for me. It has been my last few weeks at my current school and I have just so busy, what with leavers parties and award ceremonies and basically just a whole lot of stuff that needed to be done before we went to our next school. I've been kind of emotional these last few weeks anyway since my two best friends since I was about four are going to a different school from me. I was really struggling not to cry at our leaver's evening because it was so sad. Then you'd see someone else crying and it would get you going. Funnily enough, I did get an award. Guess what for. Can you? Can you not? Oh I'll just tell you… English! **

**The day before yesterday was my last day of school and my entire year group went to Thorpe Park (one of the most amazing theme parks in England to anyone who doesn't know)! It was wicked and an amazing way to spend my last day with all my mates. It's the summer holidays for me now so at least until I go on holiday on the 6th August, I should be able to update more regularly. :) **

RPOV

"Guardian Belikov," I spoke on a monotone, keeping my poker face on.

"Rose…" He stuttered, his face heavy with frustration.

"What are you two doing here?" I asked patiently. I looked around, hoping to find a way to escape this confrontation. Lissa and Dimitri looked at each other.

"Rose, we're here to see you," Lissa muttered. I stared at them blankly.

"Well you shouldn't have come. I thought I made it clear last time we met that I didn't want to see you again. How much clearer do I need to be?" They both stared at me with a look of disappointment on their faces.

"Rose, please don't be like this. Even if… I don't exactly know what happened but whatever did happen you are still you. No matter what Rose, we are still here for you- bad or good," she added at the end, analysing me.

"I… can't?" It wasn't supposed to be a question but it somehow ended up sounding like one. "I don't want to go back with you, I have to stay here. It's… where I belong," my voice cracked at the end.

"You know that isn't true," Dimitri whispered. "You want to go back with us as much as we want you to go back,"

"You obviously don't want me to go back very much then," I tried to sound confident.

"Rose you belong with us! Even if you can't see it, you have a pure heart and you deserve to be happy. It doesn't matter what you've done, that other person isn't really you!" I stared into his warm brown eyes.

"But that's the problem Dimitri! That person is me! I can't always control how I act; I can lose control so easily! My life isn't as simple as yours. At least you know what you are, what you want to do with your life. I have no idea even who I am. I'm two opposite halves trying to find a way to cooperate and fit together in a world where they can't," I ended quietly, my voice barely a whisper and less than audible.

There was a long silence as we just stared at each other, hoping someone would figure out something to say.

"I…" Dimitri started but was however, interrupted by Lissa,

"I can see that we are no help to you right now. You obviously have your own problems to solve and you need time to think things through so we'll just get out of your hair now," with that Lissa smiled a hesitant smile and walked away, towing a hesitant and confused Dimitri behind her.

After calling the end of the chaos and explaining to everyone that it was a false alarm, I walked around the beautiful grounds aimlessly. I smiled. I had done well to get this place, it was after all magnificent. I loved the many shaped bushes, cut into amazing shapes. I loved the lake with the small island in the middle with the gorgeous statue that was unexplainable to words. However, what I loved most was the peacefulness of it and how you could just escape the real world in it. It was an amazing garden- and it was all mine!

In truth I did want to go back with them. I had so much here but all of it was a lie. I didn't belong here but- I didn't belong there either. I was a freak of nature, something that didn't belong. It would have been better if I didn't exist or at least that's what the majority of people think. I thought it too.

I sighed. Life was too complicated sometimes. I continued to sit by myself in the shade of a cherry blossom tree until eventually someone joined me. I paid no attention to them and ignored them completely but when he spoke up I wished I had realised he was there sooner.

"Rose," he smiled in acknowledgement. I knew he probably wouldn't be any help to me but still I talked to him.

"Adrian," we sat in a comfortable silence, the lack of noise almost a game to us.

"Look Rose… I'm not here to tell you that you should come back with us," he finally said. I sat up, suddenly eager to listen. "I'm only here to try and help you make up your mind about what you really want," I snorted.

"I highly doubt you could do that,"

"Are you happy here?" He asked me abruptly. I didn't know what to say.

"Yes…" I spoke hesitantly.

"Don't lie to me. I can't help you if I don't know whether you're telling the truth,"

"No…" I sighed.

"And why is that?"

"I don't know!" I shouted at him, "I guess it always feels as if I'm doing what I do for someone else. In fact the only reason I'm here at all was so that I could protect someone else! Just for one second I would like to be able to do something for myself," he pondered this thought for a while,

"So then you don't want to be here?"

"I…" I thought about it for a while, "I don't know… erm… yes… no… it's complicated…"

"That's not vague at all," I gave out a shaky laugh.

"I guess it doesn't really matter to me. I don't particularly want to be here but I don't mind being here. Besides, it isn't like I have a choice; I have to be here,"

"So if you have a choice you wouldn't choose to be here?"

"Well no…"

"You say you feel you have to be here?"

"Well I do,"

"Do you?"

"Yes,"

"Ever considered that maybe you should do something for yourself for once?"

"Yeah, I guess. Hey Adrian, could you stop sounding like a psychologist? It's really starting to freak me out. I miss the wrong, perverted and drunk Adrian. This new calm, sober, understanding Adrian just doesn't cut the chase,"

"Are you offering to liven me up a bit?" He smiled mischievously at me.

I smirked, "In your dreams,"

"It is actually,"

For a long time we just sat in silence, Adrian making the occasional wrong joke. Well I had asked for the old Adrian back.

"Do you love him?" Adrian asked me out of nowhere.

"Who?"

"I think you know,"

"I think I don't know," he sighed

"Dimitri…"

"I… like him… but I don't love him," at least I don't think so. But I didn't say that. Adrian didn't seem contempt enough with this answer. "You can see my aura, can't you?"

"Yes,"

"Then you tell me whether I love him a lot,"

"I don't think I need to tell you. I'm pretty sure you can work it out for yourself. After all, only you truly knows you.

"What does my aura say when I'm with Lissa," he considered this.

"You always seem extremely happy. Your aura shows that you love her like a sister but the strongest emotion that shines out most when you are with her is an overwhelming need to protect her. It's worry and strength mixed into one,"

"Am I happy now?"

"I can't tell you that. Only you can tell yourself that,"

Once again we lapsed into a comfortable silence. Swiftly, I jumped up and ran off shouting a goodbye to behind me. I had made up my mind and I had some apologies and explanations to make.

I ran to find Lissa but after a while I just gave up. Obviously she would be somewhere hidden from sight, away from all the Strigoi, but where?

After more failure I tried using the link we have to find her. I was suddenly pulled into her mind, seeing everything as her.

"Dimitri, I hope Rose is alright!"

"She'll be fine Lissa,"

"I know, but will she really come around?" Dimitri sighed

"I don't know. She can be so stubborn at times," I pulled out of Rose' head and immediately started walking to their hiding place. They were hiding in a secluded part of the garden where not many people often passed.

Finally, I arrived. I stepped into their view. They seemed genuinely shocked to see me. They really hadn't been expecting me to come back.

"Rose, you're here. Have you made up your mind? I hope I didn't push you too…" I shushed him immediately. I walked up to him until I was standing barely fifty centimetres away.

"Erm… I'll give you guys some space to talk. I'm sure you'll need it," she smirked.

"Lissa, I don't want you walking around unprotected!"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Besides, Rose will know if I'm in trouble," with that said she walked off.

"Look Dimitri… I just needed some time to sort out my head. I wasn't totally sure what I wanted, what I could have, what I couldn't. But it's fine now. I've got my head screwed on the right away and I've made my mind up- finally! I'm sorry I had to take such a messy route to get there,"

"It's alright but… what did you choose?"

"I choose you Dimitri. I choose Lissa, I choose my friends. I want to experience this life you keep promising, this place where you believe I belong. I want to be a part of that… family," Dimitri's grin lit up his whole face. It was one of those unusual smiles that he did not carry very often. In one small stride he closed the distance between us. Very slowly he leaned forward and I felt myself doing the same. I stood on my tiptoes and he bent down slightly. We continued leaning forward until our lips made the slightest contact. But of course that wasn't enough for me. I pulled him to me and kissed him roughly. He kissed me back with just the same amount of passion. Where our skin met fireworks went off. My hands were pulling at his hair and his hands were on my waste. I had been kissed before but it had never felt like this. It was as if I was experiencing my first kiss over again. It felt amazing. I finally let myself melt into his embrace.

If this had been a fairy tale, that would have been it; our happy ending. However, this was reality not an imaginary tale. So of course what started had to be ended.

"Your majesty? Rose?" Instantaneously, I pulled away from Dimitri and looked up at who had spoken. It was someone from the council. "I'm sorry to interrupt…" he had been looking down at the floor but at that second he looked up at Dimitri. "A… Dhampir? I… don't get it. What?" Before he could fully register the scene in front of him I punched his jaw. Straight away, he slouched to the ground unconscious. I looked at Dimitri.

"We need to go- now!"

"I think your right," he replied.

We found Lissa safe and sound, not too far away from us. Then, after a while searching we also found Adrian hidden under another tree that was out of sight.

"So how long do you think we have to escape?" Adrian asked me, his face displaying all his emotions.

"Erm… a few hours, if that," I answered.

"We need to get going now then," we all agreed. Once again I was dragging the people I tried to keep safe into my world of problems again. This was why I should just leave them all along. Oh well, I guess they all our able to protect themselves in their own way.

**Sorry for ending the chapter there but I'll try and update soon. Don't forget to review, add this story to favourites or story alerts etc. The first ten people to review get shout outs in the next chapter. Whoever can work out what song these lyrics are from first also gets a shout out:**

**I could use a dream or a genie or a wish**

**To go back to a place much simpler than this**

**Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'**

**And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion**

**And all the pandemonium and all the madness**

**There comes a time where you fade to the blackness…**

**Happy Holidays! :) **

**Kajsa xx**


	16. Establishments

**Hi guys,**

**As usual, thanks for all the inspiring reviews. Thank you to everyone who's added this to favourites or story alerts. Shout outs go to xo. Sharp-Maz, Canabiscatontheloose, Dominique, Lilmizchatterbox515, Love VA, books of fantisy14, Paramore1111, Silverwolfkitten, LittleDimka and orangelover for being the first 10 people to review. xo. Sharp-Maz also gets a shout out for getting the song correct first. It was Airplanes by B.O.B and Hayley Williams. Almost everyone basically got that. I think I'll put a harder song next time, lol :)**

DPOV

I'm not going to deny that I wasn't surprised when I saw Rose. I had been almost certain that she was going to refuse to come with us. She was after all, extremely stubborn at times. But she did. And I only took it as a sign that we were truly meant to be together, no matter what other people. I just had to prove it to her. Now we were on a plane back to the academy. From the look on Rose' face, she was nervous. I wrapped my arm around her waist in a soothing gesture.

"Don't worry Rose. I'm sure you've led battles in your life a lot scarier than this,"

"I'd like to believe you but unfortunately I can't. At this very moment we could have armies of Strigoi tracking our every move, wondering why their queen has abandoned ship and run off with a couple of Moroi's and their guardians!" She fretted.

"I promise you that they will not find you under any circumstance. And, if we do run into some then I will protect you with my life," she looked at me doubtfully.

"If they find us, as unlikely as it would seem to most people who didn't know us, I'm going to be the one who has your back- and everyone else' for that matter,"

"You don't have to worry about that because it won't come to that," I pecked her softly on the lips.

A while went by and Rose was still extremely uneasy.

"Is there anything else wrong Rose,"

"Does Alberta know that you were planning to bring me back with you?" She questioned.

"Of course she does!" Vaguely…

"What about the head teacher?"

"Kirova?"

"Well… she has not yet been informed with the reasons of my absence but don't worry, she won't have a problem with you,"

"How can you say that? Alberta might be okay with what I am but Kirova, as head teacher of the academy, she needs to protect her students and let's face it, I'm basically a walking time bomb. I'm a danger to everyone around me and away from me. There is no way that when she finds out who and what I am she will be okay with the situation," I didn't know what to say. As much as I didn't want to admit it she had a point. At first view even I saw Rose as a threat. Once you get to know her it is obvious she isn't a danger, even if she thinks she is, but without actually _knowing_ her, it's hard to see eye to eye.

"If you prefer then you can walk into the academy looking like a dhampir. We can go with the story we had before and you can just attempt to have a normal life," she didn't seem convinced that my plan would work. "You can pretend to be a student transferring from some other academy, in your senior year and just about to graduate so you can share some classes with Lissa or even better you could be an academy guardian and teacher like me!" My voice raised at the end as an amazing plan started to form in my head. I looked at rose, hoping to see her sharing some of my enthusiasm. However, her face was completely blank and her dark eyes, normally so easy to read even when red and not brown was totally void of emotion. For a while there was an awkward silence.

"Each second I spend thinking about this, the worse and worse an idea it becomes," Dammit! Why did she always have to be so complicated?"

RPOV

"Each second I spend thinking about this, the worse and worse an idea it becomes," it's how I truly felt and I was only registering this to Dimitri however, I saw as his face turned three different shades of red. Anger was a clear emotion on her face and I immediately felt guilty for having said anything at all.

"Why do you always have to be so complicated? All I do is try and help this situation but each idea I lay in front of you, you always seem to spit back in my face! I don't see you coming up with anything better. Rose I love you but sometimes you are just too stubborn. I am tired of hearing you complain! Stop acting so childish and just grown up or so help me I'll turn this plane around and send you right back where you came from!"

Finally he finished his rant. I had never heard him so angry. I understood that he was tired of me disagreeing with everything he suggested and acting in such a manner that could be mistaken for ungratefulness. But it wasn't HIS life at stake here. I was the one that was running away from my life and possibly starting a war. It wasn't my fault that I didn't think it would help just running to somewhere else where I could start a war! Yes I was acting ungrateful but at the end of the day I had never asked for his help. He was the one that had come after in me in the first place. And calling med childish? How dare he! Yes, he was a guardian! But I would bet money that I had seen more of the world then he had and ever would.

I knew the anger was boiling up in me and that if I didn't try and control it I would most definitely hurt someone but I couldn't help it. He just made me so angry! He had no right to say what he said to me. After all, on most of his points it was his own fault we were stuck in this situation.

"HOW DARE YOU PUT THE BLAME ON ME! I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR HELP AND I WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU! AND CALLING ME CHILDISH? I'M THE ONLY ONE ACTING LIKE AN ADULT AT THE MOMENT! AND FINALLY, I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME BACK IF IT MEANS I CAN AWAY FROM YOUR POMPOUS ASS!" At this point I had gotten the attention of everyone on the jet and judging from their expressions, they were seriously worried I had completely lost it. I probably looked like I was about to kill someone- I certainly felt like it.

Dimitri looked at me with a piercing glare.

"Pull yourself together! Your right. I shouldn't have said those things about you. However right now, you really are acting childish," his gaze was now dismissive, "In fact," he added, "You're disappointing me to some extent. I thought you had least slightly better self-control than that," his tone was final. There would be no more discussing this matter. He gave a slight nod to everyone in the room, suggesting the 'action' was over. After that he sat down arrogantly. I don't know how he managed it but his words had somehow calmed me down. Normally I needed touch to wake up from one of my Strigoi rampages.

I sucked in a deep breath before sitting back down in my seat next to Dimitri.

"I'm sorry, I guess I overreacted…" I spoke hastily.

"Just a bit," he said teasingly. "But you are okay now, right?"

"Yes, I'm fine thanks, although it is weird. Normally I would need to touch a non- Strigoi person to calm down from one of my rampages. You brought me back to sanity just by your words," he seemed to think about this for a second.

"Maybe you are just starting to gain more control over your abilities," he said indifferently.

"Maybe…" I agreed hesitantly. He smiled confidently at me,

"I don't think it is anything you have to worry yourself over,"

"I'm not worried, I'm simply curious. It would help to know why so that I or you can do whatever one or the other did next time I flip out. That way I will be less of a liability to the pupils at the academy,"

"Rose, trust me deeply when I say you are no liability. You may be a walking time bomb but at the end of the day I know you couldn't really hurt anyone. You have too pure a heart," he ended with a big grin plastered on his face.

"You have no idea of some of the things I have done in my lifetime!" I answered him gravely.

"You weren't in control in those situations," he said confidently.

"When I go totally Strigoi, I am never in control,"

"Then you simply have to learn!" I wish it was that easy is what I wanted to add, however at that second the intercom came on and the captain's haughty voice shone through the entire jet.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for landing. We will be arriving at St. Vladimirs Academy very soon. I hope you have enjoyed your flight," it didn't sound like he enjoyed his flight. It was probably all the shouting.

All around me, I heard excited noises of finally getting back. Me on the other hand? I just groaned loudly. Dimitri, of course, heard me immediately,

"There is nothing to worry about because you will be absolutely fine- Trust me," I groaned again,

"Sure, sure. We're all going to have tons of fun. In fact, let's hold hands and sing ring-O-ring-o-roses!" Dimitri raised one eyebrow, something I had always wished I could do. He would have to teach me how at some point. I realised that he had a small smile on his face.

"Humour me," he answered nonchalantly.

"I thought I already had?" I saw him shake his head in an almost disapproving matter. "I know you love me really…"

"Believe me Rose, I would not have bothered with you if I didn't, I don't think anyone would," he muttered at the end. That made me smile. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad… HA! Who was I kidding?

**Okay, I know I got a bit random at the end, but trying to write anything at 2 am is never a good idea so you can hardly blame me. Unfortunately, this will most probably be my last chapter until September as I am going on holiday tomorrow and I won't be back till the end of the month. Please review, favourite, add for story alerts etc. All are always highly appreciated.**

**Finally, a warm thanks to everyone who has read this story and stuck by me. I know I'm not an amazing writer at that my writing is very amateur but that I should get so high praise at all makes me feel really happy inside. It's your support that keeps me writing. I love every one of you guys and I hope you continue to stick by me through thick and thin. :)**

**The first ten people to review, once again get a shout out and to give you guys something to do while I'm gone: What song are these lyrics from. As usual, whoever gets it first gets a shout out, and once again, thanks to my all my fans! :)**

**Wide awake, my mistake**

**So predictable**

**You were fake, I was great**

**Nothing personal**

**I'm walking**

**Who's laughing now?**

**(Who's laughing, who's laughing now?)**

**I'm wasted, wasting time**

**You talk for hours**

**But you're wasting lines**

**A pretty face but the chase**

**Ain't worth the prize…**

**Good luck to everyone on the lyrics contest and goodbye until next month! =D**

**~ Kajsa **


	17. Illusions

**Hey, I'm writing this on holiday because I'm at my grandparents' house in France and since I'm nice I thought I would write this chapter so I could get it up to you guys as soon as I got back to England (my grandparents don't have internet connection). By the way, I did have a great time on holiday in Slovenia. It was nice and hot but not too hot and plenty of things to do, plenty of guys to look at ;), well you know, the usual. Shoutouts go to: well since I can't get onto the internet and I don't have any credit to get onto it on my phone and my dad's being mean and won't let me onto his, sorry but I don't know. Don't worry; I'll give you all shoutouts in the next chapter. Sorry… **

**By the way, thanks for all the reviews and PM's or anyone who's added this to favourites or story alerts. =D **

**Sorry for the long wait, I hope you all don't hate me too much…**

**And now I'm rambling but since I haven't talked to anyone in like an hour and a half I'm talking to you guys. It's hot here in the south of France (not that I'll actually be in France when you read this. I'll be back in England). Oh well… To anyone who still cares its 39.7* c here. If I go outside I'll probably burn. That's probably why I actually have time to read this. If I wasn't writing I'd be playing draughts. It's my way to get my brain working again before I start school again in 2 weeks. I don't normally play draughts; in fact I pretty much hate it. If I was you I'd start reading the actual story now, I'm just going to continue rambling. I could do some of my music theory homework, that would probably get my brain working again… but for some reason the idea of looking at musical notes and stuff when it's is so hot you could fry an egg outside just isn't very enticing. Who thinks I should start writing the actual story now? Hehehe :) Just for you guys I will start writing…**

**But first... who here has already gone back to school or when are you going back?**

RPOV

We stepped into the headmistress' office. Kirova. I wasn't sure whether to be scared of what was about to happen or whether to laugh at the fact that I was actually _considering_ being scared about meeting a Moroi. Though as the situation stood, I wasn't scared of her as a person but of what she would think about me. This whole situation could go two ways. Either she accepted what everyone else seemed to have accepted, (which was that even though I was half Strigoi I wasn't bad). Or she determined me as a threat as I was related to the Strigoi race and (cough cough), their queen. We'd hopefully be able to sweep under the rug the fact that I was the Strigoi queen. I'm not sure how she would process the information. I knew that I was strong and I knew that I would have some people on my side if she decided I was a threat but I also knew that however many people I had on my side, I wouldn't be able to take down all the Guardians and dhampirs in this school. We would all die trying and this whole mission would have been pointless. To be honest, I wouldn't blame her if she saw me as a danger to everyone. _I_ saw myself as a danger to everyone! It didn't matter what everyone else thought about me...

"So let me get this right," Kirova started after we finished explaining who I was, "Your name is Rose and you're a guardian?" We were yet to tell her what I actually was. Dimitri was urging me to just go with it but I didn't want to lie.

"I'm not exactly a guardian…" I started.

"So you're just a dhampir then?"

"I'm not exactly a…" Dimitri suddenly stopped me, leaving me unable to finish that sentence.

"She is a guardian," Dimitri assured her.

"No I'm not,"

"Yes you are,"

"No I'm not,"

"Yes you are,"

"No I'm not,"

"Stop being so stubborn,"

"I'm not being stubborn!" Kirova just looked amused as she watched us squabble.

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not, I'm just telling the…" Once again, Dimitri ended my speech.

"Excuse me Headmistress, but may we have a minute outside?" Dimitri asked as a politely as he could while he continued to struggle to keep me from talking.

"Certainly guardian Belikov," with that said, Dimitri pulled me out of her office.

I glared sharply at Dimitri.

"I'm not going to lie about who I am,"

"You're not lying about who you are; your name is Rose after all,"

"Fine! I'm not going to lie about _what_ I am,"

"This could go so badly for you and therefore for me and Lissa and Adrian and everyone else who will stand on your side!"

"Dimitri, there's lives at stake!" His face softened.

"Roza, you would never hurt anyone. Here you can learn to control your abilities properly, and I'll be with you every step of the way. If you lose control for even a second I'll be there to help you get through it. I'll restrain you from hurting anyone at any cost,"

"Dimitri, if killing me was the only way to stop me, could you do it?" I asked as my resistance slowly started to slip away.

"It would never get to that," He answered confidently.

"You don't know that for certain, It migh..." he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. After a few seconds he pulled away.

"Roza, I love you, and if anything was to happen to you simply because you were worried about something that _might_ happen then it would literally kill me," he whispered softly into my ear.

I looked in to his beautiful brown eyes," I love you to… but I can't add another death to my conscience. I'm sorry but I won't change my mind. I hope that if it comes down to a fight you will choose wisely and stand against me," I turned to leave and was about to go through her door. Instead I added softly, "It's what I would do…" Saying that hurt because I knew it wasn't true but it would still hurt him. Hopefully though, if it came to it, it would be enough to keep him alive. I had to do all that I could to keep everyone around me alive. With that thought I walked through the door, leaving a hurt and confused Dimitri behind me.

"Roza please," he said quietly. It was a final pitiful plead…

DPOV

I couldn't believe what she was going to do. Did she not realise the consequences of her actions? Did she not see what everyone else would have to face if Kirova saw her as a threat? Because no matter what she said, if it came to it we would all fight for her. She had climbed into our hearts so quickly and we weren't just going to let her go. I knew that I had only known her for a little while but I still knew her so well. That's why I didn't believe what she had said before she left. The problem was that I couldn't stop her. She was trying to protect everyone while still giving us what we wanted. Well most of us. I knew that in her opinion it was best that she just left.

She didn't think she belonged here, but here she was safe. If she stayed in the outside world, eventually the Strigoi would find her and she could only kill so many before she died herself, or was forced to go back and be Queen. It's not like I knew how things worked in Strigoi politics. That wasn't, unfortunately, something they taught at school.

I knew that it was too late to change things and that as it stood; all I could do is walk back in there and stand by her side, no matter what happened. Maybe I could even prove to Kirova that she really was good. Either way, I had to do something now. While I'm standing outside I really am no help to anyone.

RPOV

"Ah Miss Hathaway, good to see you finally decided to return," I nodded slightly and attempted a weak smile. "Now, if we can get back to the issue at hand, who are you?" Here we go…

"My name is Rose Hathaway, daughter of Janine Hathaway and Ibraham Mazur," I waited to see her reaction at those names. It wasn't like everyone didn't know my parents, they were some of the most notorious Strigoi out there, and before my mother was turned into a Strigoi she was an amazing guardian.

"That isn't possible. They are both Strigoi and they can't have children," great! Now I was going to have to explain my life story to her.

"As I'm sure you know, my mother use to be a guardian, one of the best even. That's how she met my father. I'm not sure whether you know this or not but my mother was shadow kissed. Well that fact apparently made it possible to have me. If a shadow kissed dhampir, is turned into a Strigoi then they can defy all laws that we know and have children with another Strigoi," her face was a perfect mask that didn't betray any of her emotions.

"Even if I was to believe you, what exactly does that make you?"

"It makes me a Strigoi,"

"Not possible," she quickly dismissed the idea.

"If you were a Strigoi you wouldn't have gotten through the wards, not to mention the fact that you do not look like a Strigoi at all,"

"I'm half Strigoi, half dhampir,"

"Okay then," she didn't seem to believe me. I guess I'd have to prove it to her. With a blink of an eye, I moved with lightning speed towards her, towering over her, my eyes blazing red.

"Do not doubt what I am, or my strength. Do not doubt the fact that I could snap your neck with a simple flick of my wrist. I am all the strongest qualities of both a Strigoi and a dhampir mixed together. I am more powerful than anyone or anything you have ever seen before!" At the speed of sound, I returned to the spot I had been standing in before, my eyes returning to their dark brown colour. I looked at her face and she didn't even seem slightly scared.

I was panting for breath; still slightly warn from my 'demonstration', when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Kirova spoke clearly. The door opened and Dimitri stepped in to the room. Behind him walked Lissa looking as regal as ever.

"Yes?" Kirova asked. Lissa decided to speak up.

"We're here to defend Rose. NO matter what she has said or done, she isn't dangerous," Kirova kept her face blank but answered,

"From what I have seen so far Rose is as dangerous as she believes,"

"No, she isn't! She keeps telling herself that her heart is black, that she is evil and her goodness is merely a disguise, but she hasn't seen herself the way we have seen her. We have spent a lot of time with her now. I have even seen her dedication to keeping everyone safe. She sacrificed a lot for me, even her own freedom. She might not know it, or realise it but she is changing, no… she has changed, into something that is good and pure. She might not see herself the way we see her but believe me when I say that she is no threat," Kirova's face suddenly widened into a smile. That was quite an inspiring speech Princess Dragomir, but if you recall, I said that Rose is as evil as she believes she is and I do not think that she really considers herself evil. I believe that actions from her past are causing her to think that she will never change and, as you so rightly pointed out, she has changed greatly. I do not know you Rose and I therefore cannot state that any of the things I just mentioned are true. On the other hand, one thing I am certain of is that once you forgive yourself, once you let everyone in and put down that shield that you have wrapped around you so tightly, you will be a lot happier. Only then will you find your true place on this planet,"

I was shocked to say the least. This wasn't the outcome I had expected us to get to. However, everyone here was wrong. I would never change the person I was deep inside. The monster within me would continue to claw at my insides until it broke through and took over my soul completely. No one here really knew about my dark past. The part of my life I had locked away in a box. No one knew what I did before they met me. No one knew who I was until I changed.

I walk on a thin line. What changes can change back, just as what hides inside can be found if searched well enough. But this whole tale was for another day. I knew within myself that the moment when my true colours were revealed was drawing near. But until then I would mask it and just smile.

"I'm glad you all believe in me so much and… your right. I am no threat to anyone," yet…

**Well there it is chapter 17. I'm sorry you had to wait so long to get it. My first A.N was wrote two weeks ago but it is the 1****st**** September today and the first day back from my holiday for me. So, as promised I finished this chapter off and posted it up. I'm starting at my new school tomorrow and I'm actually quite excited as well as a bit nervous. From now on, all my school work for the next three years will be for my GCSE's, which is quite a scary thought… But you don't want to hear about my unimportant life so I'll leave you guys now. Remember, all shoutouts I was supposed to give in this chapter I'll give in the next! Please review, add to favourites etc.**

**Luv u guys :)**

**~Kajsa =D**


	18. Date?

**Sorry!**

**My only excuse is that I have been unbelievably busy with school, music etc. and I have so much more homework at my new school and tests all the time (which reminds me, I have a maths test and a French test next week). Anyway, I've finished a semester at the school now and I have settled in so I can finally get back to writing. **

**Unfortunately, this story is nearing its end. I am considering writing a sequel but to be honest I don't have the time and I want to concentrate on my schoolwork now that I've started work on my GCSE's. **

**I hope everyone had a nice Christmas! Got everything you wanted? **

**Okay, list of shoutouts: LittleDimka, Nicia, xXx albi xXx, lilmizchatterbox515, forevrevanescnt, craziiforva, BelikovaChild, silverwolfkitten. A shoutout also goes to all my readers for being amazing fans and supporting this story even though I am pathetic at updating on time. =D**

**Things get heated between Rose and Dimitri later on in the chapter, just a heads up**

**You'll all like this chapter, I know you will. ;)**

RPOV

"Rose, I was wondering if you would consider taking a job here?" Kirova said to me, suddenly.

"Erh… I'm not sure that is such a good idea…" I mumbled.

"Nonsense, you'd be perfect for the job!"

"It's just… I'll be around a lot of people and…"

"Rose, how many times do I have to tell you that you are not going to hurt anyone?"

"I don't know, I don't think it would make a difference Headmistress,"

"Will you at least consider the offer?"

"I suppose…"

"Good!"

Six months later…

The night was cold and the moonlight peaked through the trees, smothering me in its brightness. I was perched on a thick, low hanging branch. It had been six months since Kirova had offered me a job here. At first I hadn't wanted to take the job, thinking it was too risky. However, after a lot of begging from my friends and Dimitri I had eventually agreed- and things hadn't gone too badly. My life was somewhat stable.

I wish there was more to tell about me and Dimitri but the reality was there wasn't. Occasionally we'd have a moment and it would all be perfect. Or we might kiss and I would be able to literally feel the sparks flying off of us. However, in general, we'd just act like friends and keep our feelings for each other hidden. It was better that way anyway. We'd both come to the realisation that we were in love with each other, but that didn't change the situation either way. We still could never have a real relationship.

In the distance, I could hear footsteps. They were drawing nearer with each step, a soft, even pounding, almost like a heartbeat. Finally a face broke through the ragged trees of the forest. I watch him as he walked towards me, his face a mask of stone as he strided towards me. When he reached me he, he looked down at me before sitting down next to me.

We sat there like that for a while, however eventually the question looming between the both of us had to be asked.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me softly.

"Thinking…"

"About?"

"How simple life is here and how I know it's not going to last."

"That's not true. What's to say something bad is actually going to happen?"

"They're still tracking me Dimitri, and they're not going to stop until they find me."

"But they're not going to find you, and even if they do we are all on your side. We won't let them take you," I laughed softly

"Don't make empty promises." And after that short conversation, we lapsed back into a comfortable silence. I hadn't really told him what was going on and why I was actually so worried. I had started seeing ghosts again. Normally this only happened when something was wrong, if not I could block them out. But I hadn't seen any in ages, or at least since I had arrived at St Vladimirs Academy. It was unsettling and I couldn't help but be worried.

"Come on!" He said suddenly, sticking out his hand for me to take.

"Where are we going?"

"To the gym,"

"Why?"

"Because we've got nothing else to do and it normally calms you down a bit when you're punching things." Dimitri half smiled and I couldn't help but grasp on to his hand. He pulled me along with him and within minutes we arrived back on the school grounds and were in the gym.

I took off my jacket and then joined Dimitri in the middle of the room where we both got into a defensive crouch. We had trained together and fought each other a lot in the past few months, teaching each other new moves and improving our old ones. Because of this, we knew each other's moves pretty well and it was hard for either of us to ever win.

We circled each other, both waiting for the other to strike. Eventually he attacked, going straight for a punch. I blocked it and used the momentum to kick him. However, he moved out of the way before I could and punched my stomach. The hit didn't hurt me however it did put me off balance. He used this split second to his advantage and went into to punch me again. I narrowly ducked the hit and quickly swept his knees. This put him off balance so I then went in and kicked his knees, knowing he would fall almost immediately. He did and I wasted no time in jumping on him. I straddled his waist as he struggled below me. He was strong and my hands were starting to slip. Finally he got me off of him and jumped almost straight back into the fight. He continued to punch and kick me, barely stopping to breathe between each hit. I dodged most of them but did get hit a few times. I had also managed to hit him a few times but it had always been barely a scratch. We both knew each other's moves too well.

We fought for what seemed like hours and yet neither of us seemed to tire or let our guard down. Each time I found an opening and went into attack, I left myself open too and therefore had to block his attack before I could attack (by which point he would have moved), therefore making the whole situation pointless. I went into punch him and he grabbed my wrist so I kicked him, forcing him to let go of my wrist. Then I kicked him again and he fell on the floor. I tried to pin him but he rolled out of the way before I could reach him. Then he jumped on me, pinning my arms above me. I struggled, but he lay on top of me and I knew there was no way I would be able to move. We were both breathing hard and I had stopped struggling. It was at this point that we noticed the close proximity between the both of us. There was literally a centimetre between the both of us and our noses were touching. Dimitri's eyes wondered to my mouth and very slowly we both leaned in.

Our lips were barely brushing each other but my heart was flying at a million miles an hours and sparks were going off. And then he kissed me properly and I kissed him back. It started off sweet, barely anything. However, very quickly the passion started building between the two of us. My hands wrapped around his neck and his started combing through my hair. He had always loved my hair. His tongue brushed my bottom lip, begging for entrance which I gratefully granted him. His tongued swirled around my mouth, investigating every inch of it. Eventually, we needed to breathe so he pulled away and started kissing my neck. When he found my spot he sucked on it hard and I couldn't help but moan. Things were starting to get really hot and we both knew that we were going to have to stop soon. Finally we did, as Dimitri completed disentangled himself from me, putting at least a metre of space between the two of us. Clearly he was struggling to control himself as much as I was.

When our laboured breathing returned to normal, Dimitri just looked at me. His face held some hidden emotion that I couldn't decipher and yet I sort of didn't want to know what it was either. I hesitantly smiled at him. I knew what was coming now. The big speech about how we shouldn't have done that and how it can't happen again, especially if I want to be a guardian to Lissa after graduation. (That's right; I was going to become a guardian! Who'd have thought?) However, when he finally did talk, what he said wasn't what I had been expecting.

"Look, I know this is going to sound totally out of character and all but… would you consider going on a date with me tonight?" I think my mouth dropped at that second, stopping somewhere near the floor. I had clearly suffered from brain damage while fighting because there was no way he had actually said what I thought he had said.

"Erh…" I just continued to look at him blankly

"Close your mouth, you're going to catch flies!" he smirked.

"What?" He sighed before getting down on one knee. This was just weird now. He took my hand in his.

"Will you, Miss Rosemarie Hathaway, do me the honour of being my date tonight?" I couldn't possibly be dreaming as I was almost certain my subconscious wasn't romantic enough to come up with something like this. I pinched myself just to be sure, before answering in a shaky, uncertain voice,

"I'd love to." And then he smiled, and I smiled, and we both smiled and we hugged and I thought about how I had never been asked out quite like that before.

It was three hours later and I was sat in Lissa's room, watching her reflection as she curled my hair into perfect circular ringlets.

"Is this, really necessary? I mean I like my hair as it is!" Her reflection frowned.

"For the gazillianth time, yes this, and everything else, is necessary! Why won't you stop complaining?" She moaned. After me and Dimitri had left the gym, I had gone straight to Lissa's room where for one hour I had proceeded to tell her absolutely everything that had happened between me and Dimitri. Then, for the past two hours I had been waxed, pimped, primed and polished. The waxing had been especially painful. I kind of felt like a Barbie doll, but believe me when I say life is not fantastic.

Dimitri was coming to pick me up in ten minutes. Lissa had finished my hair and makeup and she had said it was now okay for me to slip my dress on. The dress was blood red and stopped just low enough to show some cleavage but not a lot. It had a low back that dipped down in a V shape, stopping just at the beginning of my lower back. It hugged my every curve and fit me like a glove. I slipped on my red heels and then looked at myself in the mirror.

I didn't recognise the girl in the mirror. She had plump, ruby red lips. Her dark eyes were aglow, mystery lacing them. Her tanned skin seemed to glow in the faint light. Her hair was pinned back in ringlets tumbling down her long, elegant back. Her makeup was soft, just enough to enlighten her sharp but delicate features. And then there was the dress that made her body look a million dollars, the colour fitting perfectly with her golden skin. The girl that looked back at me looked elegant and graceful and the absolute opposite of everything I was.

"Wow Lissa! I look…"

"Beautiful." A voice said from behind me. I turned around and met the eyes of Dimitri.

"Hey," I said dumbly. I hit myself internally. He calls you beautiful and you say hey? My internal voice scolded me. Dimitri just laughed.

"Come on," he offered me his arm, which I gratefully took. Dimitri looked absolutely gorgeous in the black, tailored suit he wore. Under it, here wore a plain white shirt with a purple tie. We walked in silence through the school grounds.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked.

"Somewhere," he answered.

"Don't I get any other information?"

"No, it's a surprise."

"Oh come on comrade, you know I hate surprises. Just tell me already!"

"You won't hate this surprise!"

We reached the gate at the border of the school and the two guards watching the gate only smiled at us as they let us through. Dimitri led me through to his car and opened the passenger door.

"Can I drive?"

"Do you have a driving license?"

"Well… uh… yeah… course I do… I mean… I… uh… why wouldn't I?"

"Clearly you don't. Besides, you don't even know where we are going,"

"I can drive Dimitri; I just never got a chance to actually take the test. Besides, you can always tell me where we are going!"

"No." He gave my back a gently nudge and reluctantly I climbed into the car. He shut the door and went round to the other side where he climbed into the driver's seat.

We drove for a while in silence.

"Can I turn the radio on?"

"Okay." I did and some eighties crap came blasting through the speakers. I went to change the station but he stopped me.

"I want to change the station,"

"Okay." He changed the station and some song about how video killed the radio star came on.

"Can't I choose the station we listen to?"

"No,"

"Why not?"

"Because,"

"Because of what?" I complained.

"It's this one or the other one."

"But they're both crap!"

"When you are driving, you can choose the music!"

"But you won't let me drive."

"Exactly," he turned and smirked at me. I sighed loudly.

We drove to town and he parked outside a posh looking restaurant. He got out of the car and opened my door. I climbed out and took his hand as we walked towards the restaurant. The inside of the restaurant was gorgeous. It had this authentic look, mixed in with a touch of modernity. It had high ceilings and a second floor which you could just see the edge of. It had beautiful lighting that enlightened the gold- beige colour of the walls. "I have a table booked under the name Belikov," Dimitri said to the maître d.

"Right this way sir." He led us through the restaurant to a grand courtyard. There were tables scattered all over it and the loud chattering of people talking could be heard. In the middle, there was a huge fountain with what looked like two people embracing each other as the main vocal point of it. He led us to a table with two chairs on the side and we sat down. "I hope this is all fitting?"

"Perfect!" Dimitri answered, a smile on his face.

"Your waitress will be over soon to order your drinks." He handed us menus and we both said thank you as we watched him leave the courtyard and go back in doors.

"This place is beautiful Dimitri!"

"Not as beautiful as you are tonight, my Rosa," I looked into his bottomless eyes and smiled. At that point the waitress came over, interrupting our perfect moment. The waitress was in her early twenties and dressed in the sluttiest uniform I had ever seen. I had a feeling she had made it that way. It seemed totally out of place in somewhere so classy. I couldn't help wondering if they had pulled her out of the trash. Her obviously fake, silicon boobs stuck out a metre in front of her and that obvious attempt at looking beautiful she had put on, had only made her look even more fake.

"Can I get you any drinks?" She asked while pointedly looking at Dimitri, obviously flirting with her eyes. But Dimitri's eyes were trained on me as he answered casually,

"A coke please," We were guardians, we basically never drank alcohol.

"I'll have the same," I told the waitress. However she didn't even look at me.

"Of course," she answered bitterly, a sugary sweet smile plastered on her plastic surgery face. She leaned down, giving Dimitri a good view of her cleavage. He didn't even blink.

She left quickly after that, annoyed at the fact that Dimitri hadn't paid any attention to her at all.

"That waitress was flirting with you and you didn't pay her any attention at all," I said to him.

"That waitress isn't you Rosa and never will be. Besides, she was utterly fake. Not even her face was real!" I smirked.

"Yeah, and that was _her_ attempt at being beautiful."

The waitress came back with our drinks and I watched her carefully as I expected her to "trip" or something and get coke all over my gorgeous new dress. Funnily enough, she did "trip" however Dimitri caught our drinks before any damage could be done and the waitress fell flat on her face. One point to Rose Hathaway, null points to fake waitress slut. Everyone was looking at her and she indignantly got up and grabbed her tray. Everyone was still looking at her.

"If you all have something to say then say it! Don't just stand there looking at me, get back to your food!" With that said she stomped out, the last of her pride leaving with her. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I laughed- really loud! And then Dimitri joined in. He barely ever laughed, and it was a rare occasion when he did. Someone on a different table joined in, and then someone else, and then someone else until the whole courtyard was alive with the sound of laughter. When everyone did calm down, it was only to talk more about what had happened.

"I have a feeling we won't be seeing her again!"

"Yeah, you could say that."

The rest of the time we spent at the restaurant was pretty uneventful. A different waiter delivered us our food and we talked and ate etc. We were just leaving when Dimitri said, "Close your eyes!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Rose, just do it!"

"Fine!" I shut my eyes and he put his hand over them just in case. With his other hand he guided me through what I could only guess was the door.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," standing in front of me was a huge white limo.

"Cool! Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

The inside of the car was just as cool as the outside was. Everything was clean and pristine and it smelt like new leather. There was a long seat that went the entire length of the car and on the other side there was a bar. Dimitri grabbed a bottle of wine and opened it, pouring some into a glass. He passed it to me and then he served himself a glass.

"So are you going to tell me where we are going now?" Dimitri laughed.

"No Rose. Patience is a virtue!"

"Easy for you to say. You know what my surprise is," I muttered. Dimitri heard what I said and laughed some more.

The car jerked to a stop and I wasted no time in jumping out of the car. We were outside a building.

"Dimitri, where are we?"

"Missoula," he answered bluntly.

"And we are here because?"

"You'll see." I rolled my eyes and followed Dimitri into the building. We went through hallway after hallway until finally we reached a door. Dimitri smirked at me before pushing the door open.

"After you my lady," he said in a posh voice. I rolled my eyes again before walking through. It was a small concert hall with a big stage at the front. There were only about two hundred people in the room and yet already nearly all the chairs were full.

"This is quite a small venue,"

"It's a more private concert," he answered

"Oh."

Dimitri led me down the aisle until we got to the front, where we took our seats right in the middle. The stage was directly in front of us. They were probably the best seats in the entire hall. "So who's playing? It fairly clear we are here to see a concert, but who's performing?"

"Paramore!" He said with a smile on his face. I was a little shocked at the fact he had actually given me a straightforward answer that it took a minute or two for his words to actually sink in.

"OH MY GOD! You're joking aren't you? All their concerts have been sold out for months, and if this is a more private venue then tickets would have had to be even harder to find- and expensive! Dimitri? How much exactly did you spend?" He raised one eyebrow at my outburst. Damn! I wish I could do that…

"Forget about that. Just enjoy the concert. Your right when you say it wasn't easy getting these tickets," I had been about to answer him when suddenly the lights dimmed and Paramore walked onto the stage. All logical thought disappeared at that point.

The first song they sang was Misery Business. The whole crowd was entranced within seconds and everyone was standing up, screaming along and jumping up and down. I loved the atmosphere of concerts; I just hadn't been to one in ages. To be honest, I'd never really had the chance to be a normal teenager and go to concerts with friends and or on dates. I never really got to experience growing up. I had a whole lot of responsibility dumped on me from a young age and to take on the role of leader I had had to give up any semblance of a normal life- not that I could have ever been normal being as I was.

Paramore finished off the concert singing The Only Exception and as the song finished the crowed went into hysterics, screaming their heads off and clapping till their hands were so. I'd have known since I was one of them. The concert had been amazing and I didn't think I'd ever had so much fun on a date.

People started filing out and I stood up with them. Dimitri took my hand and we started walking out of the hall. When we finally got out the doors, we started walking down some other corridors. Once again we stopped outside a door; however this one had the words 'Hayley's dressing room' on them.

"I'm pretty sure it's a crime to enter a famous person's dressing room uninvited. But thanks for the thought…" I said sarcastically.

"Yes, but what you don't see is that we're not 'uninvited'. He knocked on the door once and a female voice spoke,

"Who is it?"

"It's Dimitri and Rose!"

"Come in!" We went in and found the whole band in the room, all doing their own thing. Josh and Zac Farro, Taylor York and Jeremy Davis were playing some killing game on an Xbox, and Hayley was flicking through some magazine. They all stopped what they were doing and looked up at us when we entered the room. Hayley stood up and walked over to us, sticking out her hand. I grasped her outstretched hand and shook it lightly.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Rose."

"I guessed," she said, winking at me. The rest of the band came forward and said hello, introducing themselves, (not that an introduction was needed). They were all really cool and normal people- not at all like some snobby and bitchy famous people I had met in the past. It seemed that Paramore's fame hadn't alienated them from what normal people are like.

Hanging out with the band was insanely cool. I had already thought that the night had been amazing. However, after actually, physically meeting the band and hanging out with them as if we were old friends, well I could solemnly swear that tonight had been the most amazing night of my life and probably always would be. And to think this had all happened because of Dimitri. Apparently he knew someone related to Josh and Zac that had gotten the tickets for him and had arranged for us to meet the band afterwards. Dimitri and his contacts… I swear he knows everyone! Or at least… all the important Dhampir. Yes, Josh and Zac were Dhampirs. The rest of the band were humans and didn't seem to know about their fellow band members' vampire heritage. Frankly, I was more surprised at the fact that no Moroi's or Dhampirs had made a mention about it. Like us, they would no instantly that they were Dhampirs; we just had an awareness of each other. Dimitri explained that it was probably because it would cause too much attention to erupt and that the Moroi were more worried about that. Whatever, I didn't care either way. I hated politics and found it fairly pointless- in fact I attempted to stay as far away from it as possible. Funny thing for a queen to say, I know.

So, I was currently sitting in the back of the limo, my head resting on Dimitri's shoulder. My eyes were drooping as the gentle lull of the car engine pushed me towards sleep. Nevertheless, I forced my eyes to stay open, wanting to prolong this moment as long as possible. I was almost certain that once we got back to the Academy, Dimitri would go back to his 'stopping the moment every time things get heated between us' routine, so I didn't want to fall asleep and miss my last few minutes with him.

"Rose, if you're tired just go to sleep. I'll wake you up as soon as we get back to the academy."

"I'm not tired and I don't want to sleep," I said stubbornly.

"Fine, have it your way." For a while there was silence between us and I continued my battle against sleep. Dimitri sighed and started singing what sounded like a Russian lullaby quietly, under his breath. Was there anything he couldn't do well? I was mesmerised by his voice and felt myself falling even harder under sleeps spell. The last thing I felt before falling into a deep unconsciousness was a flutter of lips on my forehead and the words, "Goodnight my Rosa." I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I felt someone nudge me softly and almost instantly my eyes shot open. I guess it was just instinct to wake up the second someone touched me. "We're here," Dimitri said, a smile on his face.

"Great!" I answered dryly.

"Everyone has to return to Earth at some point or another Rosa,"

"Uh huh…"

I got out of the car and we started walking silently back to our rooms. It was nice how we could just be silent around each other and not have to come up with pointless, idle conversation. I had always loved the silent understanding we had of each other that flowed between us. We had a weird bond, I knew that. It was only Dimitri who could have convinced me to stay here with him- only Dimitri who could get me to fully open up and start seeing myself as something other than a monster. It wasn't anything like the bond me and Lissa shared… and yet in some ways it was stronger. It was almost as if we were… soul mates at times. Not that I believed they really existed, but maybe it was more that he completed me and me him- almost like we're not whole when not around each other. I shook my head internally and ignored the thoughts that had passed through my head mere seconds ago. There was no way I cared about Dimitri that much, right?

What seemed like hours later, I reached my room. I unlocked the door and stepped into the threshold

"Well goodnight," Dimitri said, turning to leave.

"Wait!" I shouted, my hand clamped around his arm. He turned around and faced me, his face calculating. I wasn't exactly sure what to say, so I said dumbly, "Thanks for tonight," my eyes were on the ground and I was chewing my lip lightly. I once again thanked my Turkish dad for giving me his tanned skin. It stopped my blush from showing through. I felt hands grasp my chin lightly, lifting my face. My dark eyes met his soft brown ones and next thing I knew I was pulling him to me, and then we were kissing, a passion riding between us so strong I thought it would consume me entirely.

Dimitri pushed me in to my room, are bodies still connected, and shut the door behind him. He pushed me into the wall and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He lifted me up, his hands on my butt supporting me. I moaned as his tongue slipped into my mouth. All clear thought had pretty much disappeared. I slipped Dimitri's shirt off and my hands roamed his muscles. Eventually, we needed to breathe. Dimitri just moved his mouth to my neck sucking on my pressure point and I gasped for air. I moaned again loudly. One of his hands slid upwards and cupped my breast. He squeezed it lightly and I all but purred at the pleasure. My hands went around his neck as I pulled him closer to me until there was no space between us at all. His hand slipped under my shirt and he stroked my stomach softly before moving his hand upwards and squeezing my breast again. He slipped my dress off and I wriggled out of it. He looked at me from head to toe, his eyes holding lust. He lifted me up and put me down on my bed. All too quickly clothes started disappearing…

**And… that's enough for now. ;) But seriously guys, who wants me to write a sex scene in the next scene. If I do write one I'll put in a note saying this section is M rated and you can just skip over it if you don't want to. Anyway, tell me if you want one or not in a review or a PM, I don't mind ;)**

**Meh! Eleven pages and 5000 words later my hand is numb from typing so much and my butt is numb from sitting down for too long. This chapter took me HOURS to write!**

**Anyway, again I apologise for not having uploaded in so long. I guess I just took a break from writing. I guess I also had a really bad case of writers block. I want to thank you all my readers for sticking by me this long, even though I'm crap at uploading on time and I can never be bothered to edit my work. I would have given up a long time ago if it hadn't been for you lot and for that I thank you all.**

**Well I'm about to fall asleep again for like the seventh time in the period I've been writing this so I'll leave you guys now. In my defence it is like 2 o'clock in the morning here in the UK and I barely got any sleep last night. Anyway, I bet that if you've actually read this authors note up until here then you feel like sleeping too so Aurevoir.**

**REVIEW! Pretty pretty pweeeeeeeeease?**

**Peace out guys, Kajsa or Kat or Katrina I don't care (but Kajsa's my real name)**

**By the way, what did you guys think of Last Sacrifice? I'd be interested in hearing what you thought about it but remember no spoilers so if you wanna chat then PM me.**

**Again REVIEW!**

**And this time really is goodbye :(**

**Well at least until next time… ;) **


	19. Redeem Me

**Hey guys, it's the chapter you've all been waiting for! ;) If you don't want to read the M rated part of this chapter then just skip to where it says end of M rated scene, you won't have missed anything too vital, though I do think that I build Rose's character a bit… well you have to read it to understand. I must also say that the sex scene will be the main part of this chapter and that there won't be MUCH else in the chapter. Although, there will be some stuff.**

**As usual, thank you for all the reviews guys. You're all the best!**

**I'm very sorry I stopped writing for a while, but like I said last time, I have a lot of school work at the moment and exams. I have my GCSE's in two weeks and basically a lot of revision to do. **

**Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't update sooner and I hope you'll forgive me because of this chapter. **

**Right, I won't waste anymore of your time.**

**M rated part**

RPOV

Life is like a big rollercoaster. You have your ups and you have your downs. But, maybe the worst part of life (and consequently rollercoasters) is that you never know what's coming up next. Is it a 100kmph drop? Or a vertical loop? Maybe you're about to be thrown in the complete opposite direction you came from… The point is you never know what to expect. I hadn't been expecting to meet a guy when I ran away, or even make friends. And I had definitely not expected that I would fall in love… So for that matter, I had never expected that I would end up here- in bed… with Dimitri… It almost seemed like a dream. There was no way my body could really be on fire right now, his kisses burning my very soul. There was no way I could be so easily giving myself to someone after a lifelong struggle. There was no way I could have ended up trusting anyone so much. And yet I did, because here I was…

"I love you Roza…" Dimitri whispered, his hand stroking my stomach, "And I never want to let you go." The words were like honey to my ears, and my hormones did a happy dance.

"I love you too Dimitri, I wouldn't be here if I didn't," Dimitri smiled one of those rare smiles I rarely got shown. I smiled back before kissing him again, his tongue slipped into my mouth and we fought for dominance. His hand slid upwards and skimmed my breast softly, before continuing upwards and sliding around my neck. There was no space between our bodies and yet he managed to pull us closer. My heart, body and soul were a burning inferno. Never before had I felt so… hot.

I pulled away for breath and Dimitri's mouth moved to my neck and sucked on it. His mouth… He could do miraculous things with it… It was taking everything I had not to moan loudly. His hand slipped down again, but this time he cupped my breast, squeezing it softly. I couldn't help the moan that slipped out of my mouth this time. "Dimitri…" I moaned. He played with my nipple, clearly taking the appreciative noises I was making as encouragement.

"You're so beautiful my Roza!" He smiled down at me, his eyes roaming my naked body. Suddenly feeling brave, I let my hand grasp his member and stroked it gently, it grew harder on contact and I heard Dimitri groan above me. "Roza!" he said, before grasping my hands and pinning them above me. "I think it's time I taught you a lesson," He said.

"Oh?"

"It's always ladies first," he said with a smirk, "Any guy who lets you do all the pleasuring is a jerk,"

"Well you better get to work then," He smiled and then trailed kisses down my neck. He continued dropping kisses round my breasts but never actually touching them, his hand was stroking my inner thigh. It was killing me having him so close and yet so far. "Dimitri!" I said, frustration layering my tone.

"Shh…" He answered just before taking my nipple in his mouth. I moaned again as he sucked and nipped at it, his other hand kneading my other breast. My body writhed under him.

After he had fully pleasured one breast, he took my other one in his mouth, giving it the same attention. However, this time his other hand slipped down to my thigh again, stroking it softly. He kept coming ever so close to my centre and yet he would pull back every time.

"Please…" I begged. He kissed me again and finally stroked my centre. I nearly screamed when he slipped a finger inside me. He flicked my clit, pinching it and stroking it. Then, he slipped another finger in me, pumping me. All I could do was lay there writhing under him as he continued to pump in and out.

"God… Rose… you're so wet," he said slipping another finger inside.

"I'm… so… close…" I moaned. His fingers picked up pace. Inside of me, I was doing everything I could to control the raging passion within me. I couldn't take much more of this. He was taking higher and higher, and further and further away from reality. And then suddenly it stopped. His fingers pulled out of me. "Dimitri?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?" I screamed at him. However, I lost all trail of thought and he kissed my mouth, then neck, then breasts, then stomach… he was getting lower and lower. Once again, he stopped at my entrance.

The second his tongue made contact with my clit, I screamed. Suddenly, my world exploded and the thin rope that held reality together shattered. The climax felt like nothing else in the world. People talked about it in books and movies, but no there were no fireworks. It was just being here with someone I love that mattered.

I tried to steady my breathing as Dimitri reappeared in front of me. He licked the last of my juices off his lips.

"You're delicious, but don't think we're done yet Miss Hathaway. That was just the beginning," he warned me.

"I look forward to it," He laughed, the sound a sweet caress that flowed through to my soul.

I'd been so distracted by his laugh that I hadn't realised he had gone down on me again until his lips were pulling my lips apart and his tongue was licking my core. He sucked and nipped on my clit and once again I started moaning. I really needed to try and be quieter. I didn't understand how he could make me need him so much again so soon. Then again, it wasn't that hard to believe when he was using his mouth in wonderful ways again.

I may have been lost in the moment, but this time, I refused to remain passive. I grabbed his member and started pumping him. My other hand stroked his chest. I don't know how it was possible, but we were both screaming loudly.

"Please Dimitri! Now…"

"You need to be ready…"  
"I am ready!" His hand slipped into my centre and when it came out dripping wet, I think he believed me.

Suddenly he pulled away. My body automatically reached towards him, mourning the loss of his strong muscled body against mine. He propped himself up on his elbows.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I know you're still a virgin so… well I'd understand if you wanted to stop." I was going to barge in and say of course I wanted this. However, then I really thought about it. Did I want this? Deep down, I knew that me and Dimitri together probably wasn't the wisest idea. And would I regret this tomorrow when the moment is over? I really didn't want to do this if I was going to regret it later on… But then I thought about Dimitri- About the way he cheered me up when I was down, and the way he is always there for me when I need him, and how he made me a better person, how he's given me something to live for. I love him. And while things were still okay, I wanted to make the most of life, live in the moment, and tie myself in every way possible, to the man I love. Yep! I sounded like I was the soppy main character in some crappy romance novel. Well I guess I was…

"Dimitri… Of course I want this. I love you! And even though I know it's probably not the best idea to be with you, I want to! I want to be with you forever." Dimitri smiled and bent down and kissed me. I rubbed my centre against him, teasing him. He growled and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

"This is probably going to hurt…" he whispered in my ear. He kissed me again, and then very slowly slid into me. It did hurt. It killed in fact, and a tear slipped out of my ear and slid down my cheek. When he reached my barrier, he stopped, "I'm sorry," he said, just before pulling out and slam back in, breaking the barrier that separated us. I screamed loudly, the pain was excruciating. "Shh," he said, "It'll all be over soon." He continued to slide in and out of me and after a minute or so my screams of pain transformed into screams of pleasure. He pumped in and out of me and I lifted my hips up to meet him.

It felt amazing, however, after a while; the slow speed was starting to frustrate me.

"Faster, please!" I begged.

"I don't want to hurt you,"

"You won't," I answered softly. He sighed but picked up pace. The more he pumped the closer and closer I came to breaking. "Faster!" I said again. And once again, he picked up pace. I gripped onto his back, digging my nails in as he rode me like a horse. "I'm… so… close…" I panted. He slammed into me one last time, and that was too much. I screamed out to the moon as my climax hit. A heartbeat later he came, his climax shaking my walls. It felt so good, that I climaxed again. And it was really odd, because as we climaxed together, it felt like it was more than just our bodies that joined, but our hearts and soul too. In that moment, I felt completely connected to Dimitri in a weird unknown way. I couldn't explain it; all I could say was that it felt amazing.

**End of M rated scene**

I collapsed onto the bed, and Dimitri's body slumped down onto mine a second later, the both of us exhausted from what we just did. After a few minutes, he pulled out of me and lay down beside me. "Wow! That was just… Wow!" He laughed at my comment,

"You are amazing Roza, and so, so beautiful!" I couldn't help feeling giddy at his words.

"So; is that it?"

"No, that was just the beginning. I still have a lot of things to teach you."

"And here I was thinking I was going to get some sleep now,"

"I hadn't realised you were an old lady now,"

"Haha, don't get me wrong, I still have a lot of energy in me!"

"Well then I can say that we are most definitely not done." And so round two started…

I was in a beautiful garden. There was a fountain in the middle and a path, sprinkled with daisies. Beautiful flowers in every shape and colour surrounded the area, and blossom trees rained down blossom leaves.

Under a blossom tree, there was a bench. I carefully sat down, the sound of birds cheeping, filling the cool morning air. The bright sun shone down on me. I lied back and closed my eyes enjoying the feel of the warm sun against my skin.

My eyes were closed, but my ears still picked up the distinct sound of footsteps getting nearer and nearer. I knew someone had sat down next to me when the smell of expensive aftershave teased my nostrils.

"Interesting location choice. It's beautiful!"

"It's beautiful isn't it? It's a garden I wondered into a while ago. There's something very calming about the place don't you think?"

"Yeah, it's nice,"

"So what's up with your aura today?" You're practically glowing!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about Adrian." He looked at me suspiciously. "I guess I'm just happy!"

"Sure you are," I looked into his striking green eyes.

"Yes, I am," we had a staring match for a few minutes; however, he looked away after a minute and sighed.

"This doesn't by any chance have something to do with the date you went on today with Belikov, does it?" He tried to keep the conversation light natured, however, I could hear the bitterness in his tone. This was hurting him. Suddenly, I was feeling extremely guilty. I hadn't really been thinking about anyone but myself before. I had been too lost in the moment to truly consider the consequences.

"No."

"Don't lie to me Rose."

"Fine, the date was… okay…"

"You don't need to pretend, just because you feel bad."

"Yeah well… I also don't have to rub it in your face."

"Does he make you happy?"

"Look Adrian, we don't have to ta-"

"Does he make you happy?" he interrupted.

"That's what my aura is telling you, isn't it?"

"I want to hear you say it."

"YES! Yes, he makes me happy. However, does that make you feel better? NO! So what's even the point?"

"I wanted to hear you say it, because then it made it real. Rose… you know how I feel about you. I can't stand seeing you with another man. So, I'm going to go for a while. I'm not sure how long, but I need to be away from you for a while." My mind went blank. He couldn't really be talking about leaving could he? I needed him in my life. I wanted him there for me as a friend. I… couldn't think of life without him there.

"No! No you can't go! You can't leave me! I need you!"

"Yeah, you need me, but not as anything more than a friend- and that will never be enough for me."

"You can't do this," I know I sounded selfish- like I didn't want him but no one else could have him either- but I guess I'd just gotten so used to having him in my life. I honestly believed in that moment that I couldn't live without him.

"I'm sorry Rose." The dream was starting to break up, and then he would be gone forever…

"No you can't! I won't let you! You bastard! You won't even say goodbye to my face! You're pathetic! You should just-"

I jolted awake as the dream totally ended. Adrian's face in that last second was imprinted into my brain. His face was contorted in pain, his features grief stricken. He looked truly hurt, and it hurt to see him like that. I needed to go and see him, properly this time. I needed to apologise, and then I needed to truly tell him goodbye, as well as that I did understand why he needed to go. However, I needed to calm down first.

Next to me, Dimitri reached out, pulling me against his strong body. I tried to relax, but I was still shaken by what had just happened. Where had all that dark passion came from? Why had I just acted so horribly? Those questions and more circulated round my head, as I thought about what had just happened, and tried to calm down my heavy breathing.

**So… was it worth the wait? I know I was mean for making you wait so long before so I'll try and update sooner. However, no promises. I can promise you though, that I almost definitely will not update again until after my gcse exams in two weeks.**

**Please review and tell me whether my sex scene was good or bad, and whether you will want another one in the future. Tell me your opinion on what happened between Rose and Adrian, well basically, just tell me anything. **

**I have to admit, this was probably one of the hardest chapters to write ever. Give me a fight scene over a sex scene any day. I wanted the sex scene to feel like part of the story and something that, if taken out of the story, the story would seem weird. I'm not sure if I actually succeeded in that but… whatever.**

**Anyway once again, thanks for sticking with me, even though I am the slowest updater ever. Thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, and if it's not too much to ask, continue doing these things ;) xx**

**Tell you what, if I can get 20 reviews on this chapter, then the second I do, I will start writing the next chapter and I promise to post it within three days of the day I get 20 reviews. :) xx**

**Some more song lyrics for another shoutout in the next chapter! Today, it's an oldie. May be quite difficult to work out, depending on what your taste in music is I guess:**

**I was in your arms**

**Thinking I belonged there**

**I figured it made sense**

**Building me a fence**

**Building me a home**

**Thinking I'd be strong there**

**But I was a fool**

**Playing by the rules**

**The gods may throw a dice**

**Their minds as cold as ice**

**And someone way down here**

**Loses someone dear**

**The winner takes it all**

**The loser has to fall**

**It's simple and it's plain**

**Why should I complain?**

**Well, until next time… ADI****O****S AMIGOS! **

**Kitty Kat x =D **


End file.
